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  #1  
Old 05-14-2004, 01:45 PM
Stalker61 is offline Stalker61
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 644

Biggrin Politically Correct Signature

I think I will add this to my signature line so I will be Politically Correct

Text is slightly enlarged to show detail; resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and coincidental; all models are over 18 years of age; dry clean only; do not bend, fold, or mutilate; anchovies or jalapenos added to jokes upon request; your mileage may vary; no substitutions are allowed; for a limited time only while supplies last; Offer void where prohibited;

This message has been sent "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; jokes may contain material some readers find objectionable; parental advisory: explicit lyrics;

Keep away from pets and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; ask us about our guns-for-beer trade-in plan; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries not included; action figures sold separately; jokes were packed full, contents may have settled during mailing; sanitized and sealed for your protection;

Do not use if safety seal is broken; do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment; safety goggles may be required during use; call before you dig; use only with proper ventilation; for external use only; if a swelling, redness, rash, or irritation develops, and you don't discontinue use you totally deserve a swelling, redness, rash, or irritation;

Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source; keep away from open flames; avoid inhaling fumes or contact with mucous membranes; joke contents under pressure, may explode if incinerated; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh;

Text is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the effectiveness of this email; no salt, MSG, preservatives, artificial color or flavor added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a comedian;

This message is ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; one size fits all; joke offer is valid only at participating Internet sites; slightly higher south of the Bombays;

Allow four to six weeks for delivery; if defects are found, do not try to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized IT service center; please remain seated until the mesage has come to a complete stop; mnessage in the mirror may be more difficult to read;

This disclaimer does NOT cover hurricanes, drug overdoses, stress, lawyers of any kind, small bombs, large bombs, sheer stupidity, floods, earthquakes, dangerous streets, dangerous pilots and other Acts of God, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, unauthorized repair, improper installation, misuse, typos, misspelled words, missing or altered signatures, and incidents owing to computer or disk failure, accidental file deletions, or milk coming out of your nose due to laughing while drinking; other restrictions may apply.

If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.
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  #2  
Old 05-14-2004, 06:07 PM
Scorpion101 is offline Scorpion101
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 149

Now THAT is quite amusing. Nice one Stalker!
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