The Letter

[J-Factor]

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was
nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped
up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the
worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling
hands.



"Dear Dad,





It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope

with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.





I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew
you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her
tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But
it's not only the passion, Dad!





She's pregnant!





Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods
and has a stack! of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of
having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana
doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading
it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy
we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for
AIDS so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm
16, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back
to visit, so you can get to know your grandchildren.





Love,

your son John.





P.S. Dad, None of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report
card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you!





Call when it is safe for me to come home.