New Edition "You know you're a redneck when......"

[bigsmellyfart]

Yes, the new one is out! Brand new edition of:::::
"You know you're a redneck when......"


1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.


2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.


3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.


4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.


5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.


6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.


7.You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.


8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.


9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.


10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.


11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.


12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.


13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.


14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.


15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.


16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.


17. You have a rag for a gas cap.


18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.


19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-room's so clean.


20. You can spit without opening your mouth.


21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.


22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.


23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.


24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.


25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.


26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.


27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.


28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.


29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

[Lucky]

112. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
hehehe

[Hellfighter]

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

yep i know many do this.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

yep i known a guy who use to do that! till one day he really got burn by the fire. and die from it. freaky fire bug he was.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

don't every one have it? i live out in the wood land area we have a lot of ticks out here. its a stander for country folk to have and farmers.

city folks pay a doctor 500.00 to remove a tick and bomb their house all the time for their pets fleas they let into the house.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

no i don't ""Cool Whip"", i have "Smart Balance" butter spread buckets for food/water storage container for my hog.

"Cool Whip" is not good i hate it

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

not me hitting at 76mph is really better it ground up then and ready to hit the fire pit.

bottom line i am a dogma boy

[Mstenger404]

lmfahahaha! #9 #27