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  #1  
Old 01-29-2005, 11:49 AM
Dr. Bullet is offline Dr. Bullet

Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 2,655

Alcohol Side Effects

1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet.
Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle.
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward.
2. Symptom: Warm and humid feet.
Cause: You pissed your pants.
Cure: Dry yourself at nearest restroom.

3. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause: You're lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

4. Symptom: The floor looks blurry.
Cause: You're looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.

5. Symptom: The floor is moving.
Cause: You're being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they're taking you.

6. Symptom: You see multiple reflections of your face.
Cause: You're trying to puke in the toilet.
Cure: Stick your finger in your mouth.

7. Symptom: You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause: You have your glass on your ear.
Cure: Stop making an ass of yourself.

8. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
Cause: You're in an ambulance.
Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.

9. Symptom: Your dad and all your brothers are looking at you funny.
Cause: You're in the wrong house.
Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.

10. Symptom: A huge light is blinding you.
Cause: You woke up in someone's lawn.
Cure: Coffee and a long nap.
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  #2  
Old 01-29-2005, 03:47 PM
bigsmellyfart is offline bigsmellyfart
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Posts: 3,164

hehehehehhee...
says...
3. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause: You're lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

it should read...

3. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause: You're lying on the floor.
Cure: have the nearest person or a friend help you back to your feet...then buy a new beer.
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  #3  
Old 01-30-2005, 04:14 AM
BADDOG is offline BADDOG
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 7,050

Biggrin

Lol good 1 bro!!!!

Regards
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  #4  
Old 01-30-2005, 03:10 PM
Hellfighter is offline Hellfighter
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: San Jose Calif 95111
Posts: 21,151

here here really good ones you have there love them all.
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