funny

[SnAkE PIT]

The Italian Man Who Came To America...

One Day Ima go to No Fock, Virginia to a bigga hotel. I go down to eat soma breakfast.

I tell the waitress i wanna two piss toast. She branga me only one piss. I tell her i wanna two piss, she say go to the toilet, I say you no understand. I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you better no piss on the plate you Sonna Ma Bi**h. I dont even know the lady and she call me Sonna Ma Bi**h.

Later i go to eat some lunch at Tyler Restaurant, the waitress, Virginia, bringa me a spoon, ana knife, but no fok. I tell her i wanna fok, Virginia. She tellsa me everybody wanna fock. I tell her you no understand, I wanna fok on the table. She say no fok Virginia on the table. You Sonna Ma Bi**h. I don't even know the lady and she calls me a Sonna Ma Bi**h and get the hell out of No Fock, Virginia.

So I go back to my room inna hotel, an there's no sheet on my bed. I calla the manager ana tell him i wanna sheet. He tells me to go to the toilet. So i say you no understand, I wanna sheet on the bed. He say you better not sheet onna bed, you Sonna Ma Bi**h. I don't even know the man and he call me Sonna Ma Bi**h.

I go check out and the man at the desk, he say "peace to you". I say piss onna you, too, you Sonna Ma Bi**h. I go back to Italy!!!

[SnAkE PIT]

funny

http://www.flashplayer.com/animation/paperwars.html

[SnAkE PIT]

10 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A POLICE OFFICER

1. I Can't Reach MY License Unless You Hold My Beer. (Ok In Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didnt Relize My Radar Detector Wasn't Plugged In.

3. Aren't You The Guy From The Village People?

4. Hey, You Must Have Been Doing 125 MPH To Keep Up With Me, Good Job!

5. Are You Andy Or Barney?

6. I Thought You Had To Be In Relatively Good Physical Condition To Be A Police Officer.

7. You Are Not Going To Check The Trunk, Are You? <<< (My Fav!)

8. I Pay Your Salary.

9. Do You Know Why You Pulled Me Over? Okay, Just So One Of Us Does.

10. Gee, Officer! Thats Terrific! The Last Officer Only Gave Me A Warning Too!

Hope that if there is a cop reading this there are no hurt feelings

[SnAkE PIT]

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/monkeybeer.php

[SnAkE PIT]

Divorced Jewish man, seeks partner to attend shul with, light shabbos
candles, celebrate holidays, build Sukkah together, attend brisses, bar
mitzvahs. Religion not important. POB 658.

Sincere rabbinical student, 27. Enjoys Yom Kippur, Tisha B'av, Taanis, Tzom
Gedaliah, Asarah B'Teves, Shiva Asar, B'Tammuz. Seeks companion for living
life in the "fast" lane. POB 90.

Yeshiva bochur, Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks same in woman.
POB43.

Worried about in-law meddling? I'm an orphan! Write. POB 74.

Nice Jewish guy, 38. No skeletons. No baggage. No personality. POB 76

Female graduate student, studying kaballah, Zohar, exorcism of dybbuks,
seeks mensch. No weirdos, please. POB 56.

Staunch Jewish feminist, wears tzitzis, seeking male who will accept my
independence, although you probably will not. Oh, just forget it. POB 435.

Jewish businessman, 49, manufactures Sabbath candles, Chanukah candles,
Havdallah candles, Yahrzeit candles. Seeks non-smoker. POB 787.

Israeli professor, 41, with 18 years of teaching in my behind. Looking for
American-born woman who speaks English very good. POB 555.

I am a sensitive Jewish prince whom you can open your heart to. Share your
innermost thoughts and deepest secrets. Confide in me. I'll understand
your insecurities. No fatties, please. POB 86.

Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent, self-made.
Looking for girl whose father will hire me. POB 53.

These Were actually in real newspapers lol

[SnAkE PIT]

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/bomb.php

[SnAkE PIT]

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/kerryedwards.php

[SnAkE PIT]

tahts wat i made up for my clan those r just ppl from my clan


R u feeling mad because defiant or nr shot u, r u getting mad because miss kitt is always in first place and she has the most zone time, r u mad because we are idiots and post that much, and r u mad that i have the most post?? then ur in luck, SNAKE PIT KAOS AND NR has opened a help center for ppl like u, please call us at

1-800-we-need-help-cuz-we-r-mad-at-defiant-snake-nr-misskitt-kaos

or

1-888-i-need-help-from-SNAKE-PIT-KAOS-NR

and u can visit our site and

helpfromsnakepitkaosnr.jor

or e-mail us at

help@snakepitkaosnrhelpcenter.jor


Come one come all to Snake, Kaos, and Nr's help service.

We are open 24/7

[SnAkE PIT]

hi hello, mt name is larry, im just a loser kidd who plays bball and listens to music and plays DFTFD wit all these cool ppl, they r cool not like me. when i have school i wake up like 2 minutes be4 the bus and i miss it, then i have to walk 1 hour to school because my parents r sleeping and they said "im not driving u, walk to school" so i get there and then i have half of the school pick on me and then i go to the bathroom and cry when i come out and go back to the classroom she hits me wit her ruler and then i cry again. i hate my stupid life i get beat like 10 times a day, then i come home wit a pile of homework and my lil 8 years old brother beats me up wit a baseball bat and then i cry again but then i go on msn and talk to my friends(DFTFD PPL)(the only friends i have) and i dont do my homework and go to sleep at 3 in the morning and then i miss the bus and then i have half of the school pick on me and then my teacher hits me and hits me again because i didnt do my homework and then i come home and thats how i live


LOL



lol

[SnAkE PIT]

this for my funny stuff

[SnAkE PIT]

im working on this site wit all this funny stuff
freewebs.com/funnyshir

[SnAkE PIT]

if u have anything funny then please post here

[SnAkE PIT]

Yo mama is like a hockey player she doesn't change her pad for three periods.

[SnAkE PIT]

There was an American man that had an meeting in France. He met a woman and that night they had their own meeting. While they were where having sex, she was yelling, "TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX." He did not know what that meant, but assumed it to be some sort of praise.
The next day, he went to play golf with the men he had the meeting with. One of them

[SnAkE PIT]

Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician. The magician was standing at the top of a slide. The magician than said, ''You may each go down the slide, asking for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide you shall land a a huge glass of that drink.
The first man went down yelling, ''Beerrr!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of beer.

The second guy went down the slide yelling,''lemonadeee!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of lemonade.

The third guy went down the slide yelling ''wheeeeeeeee!!!'''

[the þrox™]

cut the spamming sh!t out.

[SnAkE PIT]

this isnt spamming this is jokes if you cant read, or maybe u just dont like jokes