Why it is great to be a man

[Stalker61]

Some numbers are missing because I took out the lines that someone might be offended by. Hope you enjoy

1. Your butt is never a factor in a job interview.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don't care if someone notices your new haircut.
9. Hot wax never comes near your privates.
11. Wrinkles-add character.
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
17. One mood, ALL the time.
18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
20. You can open all your own jars.
21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
35. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.
37. The world is your urinal.
38. You understand why The Three Stooges are funny.
39. You know stuff about tanks.
42. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
43. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
44. When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.
45. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
47. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
48. You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
49. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
50. You can kill your own food.
51. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
53. You never have to clean a toilet.
55. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
56. You don't have to shave below your neck.
57. None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.
59. You can write your name in the snow.
61. Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.
62. Chocolate is just another snack.
63. You can be president. (In this lifetime.)
64. Flowers fix everything.
66. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
67. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
70. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
71. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.
72. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
73. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader's coming by.
75. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
76. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
77. You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one's just too sleezy.
78. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
79. You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you're wearing.
80. You don't care if someone's talking about you behind you back.
81. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
82. You don't mooch off others' desserts.
83. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
84. Bachelor parties kick butt over bridal showers.
85. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
87. You needn't pretend you're "Freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
88. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your other friends you've changed.
89. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
90. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw it."
91. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
93. If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer or throw it across the room.
95. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
97. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"
98. There's always a game on somewhere.

[BADDOG]

Excellnet stuff Stalker!!!!

Regards

[-Tigger-]

Originally posted by Stalker61
15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

hehehe

[||KUL||Slasher]

Your a very insitefull man Stalker.


||KUL||Slasher KSO

[Hellfighter]

very good guy gj
really like these 3ea

81. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
84. Bachelor parties kick butt over bridal showers.
90. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw it."