Zen Guide to Life

[Stalker61]

In troubled times, may of these thoughts from a wise master will aid your inner tranquility (if it doesn't work - try Zantac)

- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.

- The darkest hours come just before the dawn.
If you are to steal your neighbour's milk and newspaper, this is the time to do it.

- Sex is like air.
It only becomes really important when you aren't getting any.

- Don't aspire to become irreplaceable.
If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

- Never forget that you, like everyone else, are unique.

- Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

- If you think nobody cares whether you're dead or alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

- Before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

- If at first you don't succeed, avoid skydiving.

- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

- Some days we are the flies; some days we are the windscreen.

- Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

- Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

- The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

- A closed mouth gathers no feet.

- There are two theories about how to win an argument with a woman. Neither one works.

- Never miss a good chance to shut up.

- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

- When we are born we are naked, wet, hungry, and we get smacked on our ass. From there on in, life gets worse.

Remember not to forget that which you do not need to know.

[*Sting*]

lol

[.enfo.]

lmao, g1

[=|[DR]|=]

lmao gd 1 stalker