Magic Beer

[ArcticWolf]

Magic Beer

A lady walks into a bar and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking.

"Magic Beer", he says.

She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after that there is no one else worth talking to, goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says,

"That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?"

"Yes, I'll show you." He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building 3 times and comes back in the window.

The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again."

He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window.

She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having."

She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies.

The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk!"

[Scott]

lmfao

[Steve]

hehehehe

[Hellfighter]

omg ehehe

[Matt]

lmao

[EL_BASTARDO]

lmfao not bad

[Matt]

Originally posted by ArcticWolf
She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies.

What kinda bar is 30 stories up? lol

[Hellfighter]

Same liner:
This guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. He sits down, orders a huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out. Five minutes later, the guy walks into the bar again, orders another huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out again. Five minutes later, he re-appears and repeats the whole thing. About half an hour later, another guy at the bar stops the first guy and says, "hey, how the heck are you doing that?!" The first guy responds, "oh, it's really simple physics. When you chug the beer, it makes you all warm inside and since warm air rises, if you just hold your breath you become lighter than air and float down to the sidewalk." "WOW!" exclaims the second man, "I gotta try that!" So he orders a huge beer, chugs it, goes over to the window, jumps out, and splats on the sidewalk below. The bartender looks over to the first man and says, "Superman, you're an idiot when you're drunk."
__________________________________________________ __
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer when a young stout man walk up to him and says, "you know if you drink that whole beer you can jump out of the second story window and bounce off the ground below without being hurt." The man replies, "prove it!" So, the stout young man stumbles to the window, chugs his beer and proceeds to jump out, hits the ground, bounces, comes right back through the window and lands on his feet unmarked by the incident. The first young man exclaims "holy ****, it works!" He then walks up to the window chugs his beer, jumps out, and splat, road pizza. The stout young man chuckles and returns to the bar where the bar-keep, in amazement, states, "you sure are an a--hole when you are drunk SUPERMAN!"

[Scott]

3 guys walked into a bar, the 4th one ducks

[Hellfighter]

lol

[Hellfighter]

A guy walk in to a bar in NYC some one got marry calls out all drinks are on the house will this guy not going to turn down a drink walks up to the bartender says make me a real man drink with 10shots of each bottle you have up there bartender says there are over 100 bottles up there you really going to drink them up the man says yes so the bartender make it up the man takes the big glass drink it up the turn to the marry couple says wish you the best in life walks to the window open it up then jump out to the sea next day he come back the bartender says that drink cost the new marry couple $400.00 for your big drink were did you go man reply back had to get cleanup to go to next bar down the street to start all over again bartender says superman you can drink a bar clean thanks god you gone to next bar we had really very little to serve them with after you got done.

[Hellfighter]

A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river.

He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the preacher. The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk looks back and says, "Yes, Preacher, I sure am."

The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up.
"Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asked.
"Nooo, I didn't!" said the drunk.

The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?"
"Noooo, I have not, Reverend."

The preacher in disgust holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone, "My God, man, have you found Jesus yet?"

The old drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher...
"Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

[Hellfighter]

A drunk walks into a bar at closing, orders a beer. He notices the dartboard
On the wall and asks, "Mind if I take a shot?"
After some haggling, the bartender relents, realizing that's the only way
he's going to get this guy out of here without a fight. The drunk takes
the three darts, throws them in rapid succession, and gets three bulls-eyes.
The barkeep is impressed, but tries to move the guy along anyway. "Where's
my prize?" the drunk wails. "I do this all the time at the carnivals, and
I ALWAYS GET A PRIZE!" Thinking fast, the bartender reaches behind the bar
and gets out a shoebox with a turtle he was going to give his kid. He hands
it to the drunk and sends him on his way.
Next night, at peak business hours, the same drunk walks in again. The
bartender had been telling his regulars about this guy all night, but they
didn't believe him. Sure enough, the drunk asks to play darts again, and
sure enough--three darts, three bulls-eyes. Then he starts hollering for a
prize again.
Thinking he could pull a fast one on the guy, he says, "Hey, I don't
remember giving you a prize BEFORE."
"Sure you did."
"Then what was it, wise guy?"
"It was a roast beef on a hard roll, and it was dry as sin”

[Hellfighter]

last one calling a night:
A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. 200 yards further he's stopped by a police officer.

Officer: "Good evening sir.
We're testing drivers for drunken driving. Would you please blow into this machine?”

Man: "I'm sorry, I can't do that. I have asthma. If I blow on that machine I will get out of air".

Officer: "Please come along to the office and we can give you a blood test".

Man: "I can't do that. I have anemia and if you stick a needle in me I will bleed to death".

Officer: "Then you'll have to get out and walk 5 yards along this white line".

Man: "Can't do that either".

Officer: "Why not?”

Man: "Because I'm dead drunk."

[ViXXeN]

getting bigger every time... lollol