1 sentance per post guys!

[~Sgt.Squirmitz~]

''PHUKIN' TURDOES!'', screams Squirmitz as he bursts out of the toilet bowl he has flushed himself in to evade the radioactive bird shhhhht and the falling knife, whipping out a pair of Heckler and Koch Universal Machine Pistols from his miserable shortey short shorts and putting .45 caliber bullets on the foreheads of what remained of mstenger's team of five.....

[Sen]

Except i have a titanium-plated, kevlar-lined full body cast due to all the attacks, which deflected the bullets at a speed even the 1337 Squirmitz could not dodge.

[~Sgt.Squirmitz~]

Seeing his .45 AP bullets bounce of Seraph's big fat piggurd armor, our hero Squirmitz calmly puts his hand inside his miserable shortey short shorts and pulls out a walkie-talkie, saying "Command, Ratty Six, This is Squirmy toes, I have a target, requesting air support, over!", then, seconds later, an F22A Raptor stealth fighter jet swoops down, dropping a laser-guided GBU-25 Smart Bomb and blowing poor Mr Seraph into precisely nine-hundred and ninety-nine phukin' dogzillion bits.

[Grenademan]

in a fit of random rage, the terribly insane and destructive front-liner (aka Commander Loony) leaps into action, bringing out the diamond edged steel blade of doom he had been keeping in reserve. front-liner then cuts up a thousand people in seconds before bounding 30, 000 feet into the air and eating the raptor whole before crashing back onto the ground, emitting a devastating shockwave that knocked down all within the map....

[Sen]

As I regenerate, the havoc of gay sysops run after Squirmitz.

[~Sgt.Squirmitz~]

The great Squirmitz farts the loudest and most destructive bloodey fart the world had ever seen and blows Mr Sherpa Seraph's gay sysops into bits, and sends poor front-liner, who has apparently just joined in the fray, 3000 miles away into the fictional middle-eastern country of Jerkistan, where he is fed cinder blocks by the fanatical para-military group Hashashin al-Soup ('Assassins of Soup'), raped by a donkey, and stabbed repeatedly with a black umbrella by the infamous General Poobn Mahmoud Ibn al-Soup.

[Sen]

As front-liner gets thrown way out of bounds, and as I try to argue that those gay sysops were not mine, a group of noobs unleash cheater hell on both sides and the front lines, creating massive salvos of autonades and 50 caliber machine gun fire.

[~Sgt.Squirmitz~]

Squirmitz gets pinned down under heavy .50 cal machine-gun fire (a la' full specrum warrior) and noobs start nading him, and all seems lost for our brave hero, until he rubs a kettle he whipped out from his miserable shortey short shorts, and out poofes the malevolent spirit of the late Abu Musab al-Zarqawi with a bunch of elementals* and thought-forms* and literally scares all those noobs to pieces, and the poor regenerated Mr Seraph is so scared that he can't even wet himself because his piss had frozen and his weenie had turned into jelly, and of course, he faints instantly.

*If those terms don't make sense to you, ring a professional parapsychologist.

[Grenademan]

thru the unbareable shouting of rifle fire and thumping of explosions, the utterly enraged front-liner makes his way across the outer areas after escaping the so called para-military group (after deploying a decoy that the donkey 'raped' and was subsequently imploded. front-liner then calls in reinforcements. Overhead in the gloomy dusk skies above, thousands upon thousands of dropships glide to the distant enlightened battlefield, preparing to land in the Armies of Commander Loony to try and clean up this somewhat out of control mess...

[~Sgt.Squirmitz~]

While Mr Seraph is desperately trying to thaw out his frozen piss, the ruthless Hashashin al-Soup, armed with the finest kalashnikovs*, cinder blocks, wooden palletes, and the double-barreled .50 caliber machine-guns mounted on the man-eating donkeys they are riding, go after Front-Liner, who had, by sheer luck,escaped from their wrath and returned to the battlefield, which is currently in a very bad state of total moronicality.

*AKs.

[Grenademan]

"Enough!" I yelled in frustration and the battle donkey and its crew came to a halt. They aimed their weapons at me and squeezed the triggers, only at that very second did front-liner's reinforcements begin landing on the moronic killing fields. Dropships landed above a cloud of dust and unloaded two paltoons of heavily armed troopers. The troopers spread out under fire to secure the strategically important sections scattered across the field. As teh dropships unloaded the infantry, A3 Devilflyer fighters strafed the enemy forces below, one of which gunned down the man eating donkey and its crew, shredding them into a thousand pieces of minced meat. Some battle hardened peopel that were present since the beggining of this madness began feasting on teh fresh meat, replenishing lost energy. Only then did the battle intensify AGAIN...

[~Sgt.Squirmitz~]

As Mr. Seraph and his friends are feeding on the rotting corpses while being entertained by a bunch of morally depraved tycoons and nonhumanoid beasties, A UFO flies overhead, and Front-liner is abducted by aliens and forced to drink his own piss and dissected.

[Mstenger404]

then squirmitz gets a sysdump.txt

[Grenademan]

as squirmitz hurriedly restarts the game, front-liner escapes the UFO, narrowly avoiding the dissection and telling the aliens that "i'm all dried up...i went like 20 mins ago" (so as to avoid drinking me own urine)

Meanwhile, the battlfield silences at long last. Everyone who survived stands out in the open to observe the aftermath. It is a defining moment for our gaming heroes. All is quiet. Then, squirmitz returns suddenly. And because of this event, the fighting flares up...

[Mstenger404]

and everyone else that died respawned to a 1000 yrd stare battlefield

[~Sgt.Squirmitz~]

After eating a box of Rip's Krupsies behind a tree, Squirmitz pullls out his walkie talkie from his miserable shortey short shorts and says something very vulgar in swahili, and, while everyone is staring at him, seconds later, An Mh-53 PaveLow cargo helicopter flies overhead, air-dropping a ton of caramelized donkeys and some weird turds with glowing orange eyes and gas-masks (like the ones you see on front-liner's avatar) holding vials labeled ' Dr. Faustino Poopenstino' containing a rather goey yellow liquid that smells something between rabid rabbit drool and human piss, which are force-fed to mstenger and front-liner (who, unfortunately, does not manage to avoid it ).

[Grenademan]

but FORTUANATELY, mstenger and I were secretly armed with personal time reverse machines (shhh dont tell anyone its a secret) that allowed us to go back several minutes in time to destroy the approaching cargo helo. And we both fired heat seeking missiles at the helo, turning it into a flying fireball that showered red hot shards of broken steel upon the battlefield. Many people were incapacitated by teh deadly debris and managed to respawn on some distant moon orbiting Jupiter...

[Mstenger404]

nuke rockets coming from the moon over jupiter showered down blasting huge portions of the battlefield (but they werent big enough to get past 50%. The rest of us ran inside holocaust bunkers and waited for the shower to stop, and when it did we emerged to a glowing green radioactive surface that slowly made our health decrease.

[~Sgt.Squirmitz~]

A cute little squirrel falls out of tree and into mstenger's briefs*, and while he is screaming in pain and deseperately trying to get it off his weenie, Squirmitz comes out of the toilet bowl with a shiny jap katana and, with a single swoosh , just like in those samurai flicks, he swiftly, gracefully, beautifully separates mstenger's head from his body and turns the ground red with his heart's blood. (yuk)

*Or do you use boxer shorts?

And, front-liner, by the way, fortuanately should be spelled F-O-R-T-U-N-N-A-T-E-L-Y. You are just about as crooney as deer pie.

[Mstenger404]

boxers...


then i respawn and nail squirmitz in the head with an barret