Types of Sex

[bigsmellyfart]

Types of Sex


SOCIAL SECURITY SEX:

Two men were talking.
"So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

************************************************** ************************************************** ******

LOUD SEX:

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor.
Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"

************************************************** ************************************************** ******

QUIET SEX:

Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?"
She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"

************************************************** ************************************************** ********

CONFOUNDED SEX

A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body.
His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic.
The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium, $14,000 for "large." The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision.
The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options.
The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected.
"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.
The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".

************************************************** ************************************************** *****

WOMEN'S HUMOR

My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight."
He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs.
He couldn't get back in.

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman says..... "I'll miss you."

[EDGE]

I really don't think this is appropriate for the forum.

[bigsmellyfart]

Originally posted by EDGE
I really don't think this is appropriate for the forum.

i dont see any 4 letter words abd you must not visite the forum here much and its a subject talked about quite frequently.

[EDGE]

Actually, I am probably one of the people on this forum who visit it the most aside from Steve. I do know what goes on around these forums. What is allowed, what isn't. What shouldn't be posted. All I did was make one little comment and you snapped on me. There doesn't have to be a 4 letter word that is bad. Not all bad words are 4 letters. This deals with sex. Something our younger visitors need not see yet.

[Matt]

i truthfully dont see that big of a problem with it, it says sex in the subject, so younger vistors shouldnt click on it to begin with. doesnt really go into detail about anything or use any vulgar words so im gonna let it stay, but if u 2 dont be nice to each other im gonna have to close the topic for flaming

[IcIshoot]

I agree with EDGE that this joke or any "adult" joke should be on the forum.

I have noticed a decline in the quality of jokes since I first joined the site... over the months more and more inappropriate jokes (in my opinion) are posted.

Seems to me that Adding the tag "Adult" or what ever else is used to signify that it is an adult joke just attracts attention to it and makes the younger ones curious so they disregard the warning.

The rules claim that these are "clean" forums (Last paragraph) , the humor section must be an exception?

This has been bothering me for some time, almost brought it up a couple times and this may be a factor I will consider before recommending novahq people I'm some what aquainted with.

Hope this isn't considered a flame

Thanks,

IcI

[EDGE]

heh tril, Im just stating my feelings. I'm not flaming anyone.

[Steve]

taken note, thanks for the feedabck

[Hellfighter]

panther did say put a warning into it "Warning for adult's" it should be ok. it has been ok in the pass.

it be ok if there was some way that the member can give proof of age, i can scan my ID-card and My Vet hosp card it to has a photo ID on it as will. then a section put to one side for adult thread area only for adult to get into and read and post-up.

[Scott]

If there was some explicit deatil in the post, it woulda been removed when I first read it. The word sex is IMO, not explicit. It sais sex, my teacher in 6 grade made our class watch moves on more detailed stuff.

icishoot, that was a very good post, speaking your mind is not flame. We mostly consider flame a direct attack against another user. fyi.

[bigsmellyfart]

Originally posted by EDGE
Actually, I am probably one of the people on this forum who visit it the most aside from Steve. I do know what goes on around these forums. What is allowed, what isn't. What shouldn't be posted. All I did was make one little comment and you snapped on me. There doesn't have to be a 4 letter word that is bad. Not all bad words are 4 letters. This deals with sex. Something our younger visitors need not see yet.

actually your probably right but if they are old enough to click on this forum they know what sex is if they didnt get it from thier parents they got it from thier buddies in school besides younger visitors shouldnt be here anyway cause this is a site
about violence..war violence killing etc in specific a group of video games dedicated to killing other people in online gaming. now here is the question which is worse...
knowledge on how to create life or knowledge on how to take life?...this is not a flame but an discusion on the issue @ handthink aobout it

[Hellfighter]

will you tell a child not to do something they are going to do it anyway. (next door to me) a father and mother have told their small girl (15yrs old) not to call people on her celphone now their celphone bill is USD-$550.00 so in a way it really up to the child to read "Sex,Adult" knowing its is a area that is off limits to them and should stay out of it. if they go into a thread and read it?? i only hope their mom or father spank them but freaking good or at lease tell them these area's are not for them to go into and stay away from these area online. this is not a baby setter site.

in my site i have made a place were you can get away with adult humor and joke a area of it own.

"Adult Humor & Jokes "Warning only for adult"

there is a remark about what it is:
this area is for Adult subject only sex, humor matter, if your under age please stay away from here!!

you would have to be a member to read it and post into it. if i found a member who mom and dad tell me their child is under age i will ban their child from the site. i may later down the road make it a password area.

[bigsmellyfart]

if you think about it this is a PG- 13 website about an R rated subject Killing but what da hey its only a game

[Hellfighter]

how many kids you know have seen a XXX-rated movie or gone out buy it. i know a lot of them that have, some mother & father have gave them money and told them go buy a movie at a store and bring it home to watch only later on found that their kids got the movie, many kids say they got something other then a movie and hidden the movie and to watch later on. it hard to watch over what kids will do.

if it says adult or any wording in it thats ref; sex they should know better to stay away from these area it not up to the site or its owner of that site to baby setting member.

member should know what they can read and not to read.

but Panther & Trilogy is right about this thread it not over broad on the subject at all. and the wording in it states the subject "Sex" so it should be hands off to minner's to read.

I not going to say anymore on this subject. as a member and of age 45yrs old it ok in my book if you have trouble with it then don't go into these area and read them.

[Recon]

how long does it take you to type of these reports chief?

[Hellfighter]

Recon not going to asker you? for one reason what report you talking about? i am totally clueless on what you are asking about a report? i'll let the staff asker that for you maybe they know what you asking about.

Originally posted by bigsmellyfart


Types of Sex


SOCIAL SECURITY SEX:

Two men were talking.
"So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

************************************************** ************************************************** *****

WOMEN'S HUMOR

My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight."
He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs.
He couldn't get back in.

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman says..... "I'll miss you."

like these nice humor

[Matt]

Originally posted by Recon
how long does it take you to type of these reports chief?

Don't think it's nessicary to start anything Recon.

[bigsmellyfart]

I got an idea... For all the single guys lets make and sell a Hands Free Kit...

[Steve]

i got another idea, try posting funny jokes rather then just rude ones :/ then everyone will be happy

[bigsmellyfart]

it was not intended to be rude it was supposed to be funny