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women and the point system ( this is great )
For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when
> >dealing with women. > > > >Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just > >how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule > >applies: > > > >Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. > >Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted. > >You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's > >the > >way the game is played. > > > >Here is a guide to the points system: > >SIMPLE DUTIES > >You make the bed.....+1 > >You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.....0 > >You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets....-1 > >You leave the toilet seat up...-5 > >You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings....+5 > >in the snow.....+8 > >but return with beer....-5 > >and no liners....-25 > >You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0 > >You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing...... 0 > >You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5 > >You pummel it with a six iron.....+10 > >It's her cat......-40 > > > >AT THE PARTY > >You stay by her side the entire party....0 > >You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a high > >school > >drinking buddy.....-2 > >Named Tiffany......-4 > >Tiffany is a dancer.....-10 > >With breast implants....-18 > > > >HER BIRTHDAY > >You remember her birthday....0 You buy a card and flowers....0 > >You take her out to dinner.......0 > >You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1 > >Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2 > >And it's all-you-can-eat night......-3 > >It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is > >painted > >the colours of your favourite team.....-10 > > > >A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS > >Go with a pal....0 > >The pal is happily married......+1 > >The pal is single......-7 > >He drives a Ferrari......-10 > >With a personalised license plate (GR8 NBED).....-15 > > > >A NIGHT OUT WITH HER > >You take her to a movie...+2 > >You take her to a movie she likes....+4 > >You take her to a movie you hate.....+6 > >You take her to a movie you like.....-2 > >It's called Death Cop 3.....-3 Which features Cyborgs that eat > >humans.....-9 > >You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans....-15 > > > >YOUR PHYSIQUE > >You develop a noticeable pot belly......-15 > >You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it....+10 > >You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and > >baggy > >Hawaiian shirts....-30 > >You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."....-800 > > > >THE BIG QUESTION > >She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" > >You hesitate in responding.....-10 > >You reply, "Where?"......-35 > >Any other response.....-20 > > > > >COMMUNICATION > >When she wants to talk about a problem: > >You listen, displaying a concerned expression......0 > >You listen, for over 30 minutes.......+5 > >You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50 > >Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying, "Well, > >what > >do you think I should do"...-50 > >You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV....+100 > >She realises this is because you have fallen asleep.....-200 |
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