Fighting Terrorism

[bigsmellyfart]

I'm over 50 now and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the military.

They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join until you're at least 35.

For starters:

Researchers say 18-year- olds think about sex every 10 seconds.

Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into submission. "My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote control?" !

An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war until you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old guy, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60 would do wonders for the old beer belly.

An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m.

Old guys get up early every morning to pee.

If old guys are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We've also developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles.

We like them almost better than naps.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and I didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I can hear the Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give me...er..one."

And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to actually carry on a conversation, and to wear pants without the top of his butt crack showing and his boxer shorts sticking out. He's still hasn't figured out that a pierced tongue catches food particles, and that a 400-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum.

All great reasons to keep our sons at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off to possible death.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked our hearts on September 11. The last thing the enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million old farts with attitudes.

[Hellfighter]

man thats really good love-it. here one back at you:

I am 46yrs old now days. They to say I’m too old to re-enlist into the service, I’ll be better then those younger eggs head kids 17-21 would be. I’ll fart my way thou and gas the terrorist groups to death! As will I am going thru the area.

Let me catch one! I’ll fart and give him a bloody face mask at the same time. They be unclean to go into heaven then for life.

Bloody Hemorrhoids got to hate it! but there is a good side to it.

Make a hell of a bloody face mask freebie any takers

This way the younger kids can grow up have a family, time they too have their own kids and a wife who will never stop yelling at them! he or her better off going to war then they be fully loaded with anger to boot.

[bigsmellyfart]

ok chief remember one fart will reveil your position by sound and smell. so in a criticall situation its ok to be a bigsmellyfart
but dont fart or the enemy will smell your @ss ...they may be used to wearing gass mask's

[Chrispy]

Hehe... low humour but it did tell differences!

Chief you got pwned hehe...
True, fart can compromise your position!

Chris_OJB_DF645 --

[Grenademan]

unless its a silent but deadly one...