Blackmail

[ShArP]

Little Johnnie desperately wanted a bright red wagon for Christmas.

His friends were writing letters to Santa Claus, but Johnnie decided to go one better.

"Dear Jesus," he wrote. "If I get a red wagon for Christmas, I won't fight with my brother Hank for a year." Then Johnnie thought, Oh, no, Hank is such a brat, I could never, ever keep that promise. So Johnnie threw away the letter and started again.

"Dear Jesus, if I get a red wagon for Christmas, I will eat all my vegetables for a year." Then Johnnie thought, Oh, no, that means spinach, broccoli and asparagus. Yuck! I could never ever keep that promise.

Suddenly Johnnie had an idea. He went downstairs to the living room. From the mantel above the fireplace, he grabbed the family's statue of the Virgin Mary. Taking the statue to the kitchen he wrapped it in newspapers and stuffed it into a grocery bag. He took the bag upstairs to his room, opened the closet and placed the package in the farthest, darkest corner.

He then closed the closet door, took a new sheet of paper and wrote, "Dear Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again..."