Mermite's Christmas in New York

[MERMITE]

Yeah you heard right, this is a test to see if those customs guys broke my laptop, nah seem's ok...even the best plans get stuffed, cab or limo? for a party of 12, so we go 3 cabs, by pure luck one outo reach the hotel, it's been 10 years since I was last here, and about that long since I seen that white stuff, jeesus I hate that Snow.

I flick to the NY times, oh so thats why everyone is so glum?
New York in Last Place in Happiness Rating
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/22/ny...c.html?_r=1&hp

Grrrr it must be 2 degrees C, I'm trying to figure out how much to tip the driver then the valet then the bell hop then the room service, do they take plastic or Auzzie money???
I need sleep, we all need sleep, I wanting to knock back a bit of the duty free without the Mrs catching me, already she's on the cell phone to Aus,
Now I'm trying to think how much is this trip gonna cost I knew it would
already the Mrs has a list as long as a dunny roll and growing.

oKok HOW MUCH DO YOU TIP THESE GUYS, ten years ago it was 20-25% of the bill, some say 33% some don't at all, I DON'T WANT TOO, but SHE will, just to break my shiny red balls....I'll let you know once Iv'e had a sleep

"M"

[MERMITE]

The idea is to let someone else do the tipping, but if you do get hassled pretend you lost your wallet....well! that lasted as long as a new york minute, so I coughed up and reccomend 15-20% of your bill as the tipping average.

Soon we will leave for Scotland, one of the better reasons to leave the sunshine state,
Queensland, and right now I miss it, I've never been so cold, NY temp now is sumthing "F" what the hell is "F"????? Temperture in Scotland is about 5 degree celsius maybe the same here, but Scotland has got the whiskey, aparrently keeps you warm in cool weather

[Hellfighter]

i heard the SAS in the UK looking for new members Mermite!

you be in Scotland go see them and see if you be free to travel the world on call for them!
you can travel to more country's and see many type of people around the world guy!

they pay you and you get top of the line health care from them anywhere you go to or live home front!
pay is great and housing is sweet as hell to i hear

btw they let you have a weapon of your choice to pick from too!
you be like 007 you get to have many body bags to put to good use as will.

[MERMITE]

Dear Willy,
I got to travel the world this christmas as I saved so much CASH from buying TOBACCO
all these 3 months, but hey!!!!!
I CAN STILL JUMP DOWN TO YOUR PATCH AND SMOKE UP ALL YOUR ''HOMEGROWN"
and still be back in the apple 'afor missed ....whoa YEAH!!!!

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for those with any practable miltary knowledge will know that SAS stands for special air service, the division of the Royal Post that delivers parcels and letters to serviceman overseas, they work out of Hertfordshire in England and are miles from Scotland, the only 'army' in the world that allows you to use ANY weapon of your choice has gotta be out of Darkest Africa, no sane general will allow any weapon on the field ...will ruin the play of any battle..
As for health care, you better google 'UK National Health'

Happy New Year William

"M"