some jokes 4 you all

[Northern Jedi]

jack and jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water.
stupid jill forgot her pill
and now shes got a daughter
............................................
Why is Star Trek the same as Toilet paper?

Because they both circle Uranus looking for Klingons
.................................................
A penguin is driving through Arizona (as they do) on a hot summer's day when he notices his oil light is on. He gets out of the car and, sure enough, it's leaking oil all over the road. The penguin drives around the corner to a service station and asks the mechanic to take a look at it.
The mechanic says he has a few others to look at first but if he comes back in an hour he can tell the penguin what is wrong with his car. The penguin agrees and goes for a walk.
He finds an ice cream shop and thinks a big bowl of vanilla ice cream will really hit the spot since he's a penguin and it's Arizona in the summer, after all. He sits down at the counter and starts in on his ice cream.
Of course he has no hands so it is rather messy. By the time he is done he has ice cream all over his flippers and his mouth-a total mess.
He walks back to the service station and says to the mechanic, "Did you find out what is wrong with my car?"
The mechanic replies, "It looks like you've blown a seal."
."No no," says the penguin. "It's just ice cream!
......................................
The was a man from Brazil
Who swallowed a dynamite pill
His heart retired
His arse back-fired.........................
And his willie shot over the hill.
.................................................. .........
A wealthy man decided to go
on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund started chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovered that he was lost.
So, wandering about, he noticed a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The dachshund thought, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!"
Then, he noticed close by some bones on the ground and immediately settled down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard was about to leap, the dachshund exclaimed loudly, "Boy! That was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the leopard halted his attack in mid-stride, and with a look of terror slunk away into the trees. "Whew," said the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me."
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figured he could put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he went. But the dachshund happened to spy him heading after the leopard with great speed. The monkey soon caught up with the leopard, spilled the beans and struck a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard was furious at being made a fool of and said, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."
Soon the dachshund saw the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and he thought, "What am I going to do now?"
But instead of running, the dog sat down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hadn't seen them yet... and just when they got close enough to hear the dachshund, he said -- "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard

[Scorpion101]

I think this should be in the MATURE section.

Scorp.

[Lucky]

LOLOLOLOLOL

[ShArP]

LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO I CANT STOP LAUGHING!!!!

[bigsmellyfart]

heres one i made up a number of years ago but i like urs 2

jack and jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water.
Jack went down and Jill came around
and to heck went the pail of water.

bigsmellyfart ©1980

[BADDOG]

LMAO excellent stuff!!!!

Warm Regards

[Northern Jedi]

well i never thoght ppl would like them wel i liked them

kk

[Chrispy]

Fourth Favourite

The fourth one is funny, fourth one was like the WILLIE SHOT over the hill, now do some more and I will choose one of them! Yay!



Chris_OJB_DF645 --Ha ha good one

[Hellfighter]

like the last one

[Northern Jedi]

kk