serious question

[-Tigger-]

ok well, wanted to ask a serious question and i dont want any smart replies, as this effects me everyday..

since the 2 topics of smoking and drinking have came up thought id ask

heres the problem, Selina (my girlfiend) about 4 months ago got deeply depressed and tried to commit suicide, over the last few months its been a slow and painful recovery for her to get to a normal state of mind, recently within the last month shes been having fights with her mum, and its sent her on a downwards spiral, causing her to be turning into an alcoholic, shes drinking everynight (im not talking 1 bottle, try 10), aside from that she smokes (tobacco and the other stuff..) everyday, if shes not drunk shes "stoned", vice versa... anyway, its ruining her, shes not going to school (shes missing a vital year of her GCSE's)

any ideas on how to help or help her cut down?

BB.

[Matt]

sorry to hear that BB. maybe u should seek professional help :-\

[Scott]

No real idea how to help people that have almost hit the bottom.. I have had my share of friends that have become alcholics and/or potheats. It's hard to see it happen, it happend to a few of my best friends a few years ago.. I eventually gave up and went my own way..

The best advise I could give you is to not give her more stress, be very carefull around her and maybe keep her closer to you..

And deffinatly professional help like tril said..

[Stephen]

Originally posted by Trilogy
sorry to hear that BB. maybe u should seek professional help :-\

to be frank bro this is not the place for help for something like that sounds like u really need to take her somewhere hope all gets better

[-Tigger-]

Originally posted by Killerbee ™
to be frank bro this is not the place for help for something like that sounds like u really need to take her somewhere hope all gets better

yeah i wasnt expecting a solution, but was just wondering if others have had the problem and how they have delt with it

trying to get her to see a doctor is impossible though

[Stephen]

well my mother had the same prob and i conviced her to go see one. but some people won't admit they have a prob if u have to trick her into going its serious enough to do that.

[-Tigger-]

id try tricking her if i could, but i cant shes can just sense when someone is lying and just turns her head

[Chrispy]

Professional Help Is Good

Otherwise brainstorm some ideas that are useful.

Chris_OJB_DF645 --Come on guys BB needs help all gather here please

[^Atreyu]

Tell her that if she doesn't get help and stop her ways you are going to leave her. If she cares about you enough, she will do it.

If not, then its not worth the trouble to stay with her.

[NaughtyPerry]

Originally posted by ^Atreyu
Tell her that if she doesn't get help and stop her ways you are going to leave her. If she cares about you enough, she will do it.

If not, then its not worth the trouble to stay with her.

dont do that, could make her worse... if shes depressed as she is, then you leave her... its just a bad combo...


take time, talk to her, try taking her out somewhere, making her feel special

[Rampage.]

may sound corny, but i have been here before...

take her out on a walk, or somewhere not public, somewhere where the both of you can talk in private... explain to her that your there for her, and that you want her to explain to you what the problem is, then explain to her how she should stop drinking, and smoking... and that no matter what happens youll be there for her.

[BADDOG]

BB I've never told anyone about this here in these forums so here goes.

I'm very sorry to hear this news of yours BB and I have experience with the same problem but in my case it's my son. I don't worry about him smoking cigarettes, ( I know the obvious health issues), because he can quit that anytime but pot and alcohol are much more dangerous especially combined together as there is now clear evidence that pot smoking can lead to psychotic episodes according to the latest research combine this wtih alcohol which is a depressant and it's quite a dangerous cocktail.

My son has also cut himself with a razor blade and a few months ago he slashed his wrists but didn't do any permanent damage although he was in hospital for a week. He's been prone to violent outbursts one of which led him to stab his best friend whilst under the influence of drugs and drink which in turn led to him be arrested, charged, found gulity and sent to prison for six months. Fortunatley his best friend survived and made a full recovery but my son is still having problems form time to time.

He is now seeing a psychiatrist on a regular basis and taking perscription medication to help him and it is working although he still has the occasional episode.

We have also tried alternative medicines from a Chinese herbalist which although the treatment was expensive my son seemed to benefit more from that than from the perscription medicine he takes so that might be an avenue of approach you could think about BB.

I would urge you to seek some kind of proffesional help some how and I know it's difficult to get your girlfriend to face these problems but sooner or later she will have to so she can admit she has a problem and then get the help to deal with it.

I don't know if this will help and I do know that being told that some one else has a similar problem doesn't provide any answers but you do at least know your not alone bro, pm me if you want to talk.

Warm Regards

Steve.

[NaughtyPerry]

Originally posted by MuffinMan
may sound corny, but i have been here before...

take her out on a walk, or somewhere not public, somewhere where the both of you can talk in private... explain to her that your there for her, and that you want her to explain to you what the problem is, then explain to her how she should stop drinking, and smoking... and that no matter what happens youll be there for her.

exactly right... A* mate!

[-Tigger-]

Originally posted by MuffinMan
may sound corny, but i have been here before...

take her out on a walk, or somewhere not public, somewhere where the both of you can talk in private... explain to her that your there for her, and that you want her to explain to you what the problem is, then explain to her how she should stop drinking, and smoking... and that no matter what happens youll be there for her.

have already done that m8.. twice i think, but with no effect

Thanks for your post BD

We have also tried alternative medicines from a Chinese herbalist which although the treatment was expensive my son seemed to benefit more from that than from the perscription medicine he takes so that might be an avenue of approach you could think about BB.

you mentioned the chinese herbalist stuff, how much more expensive is it?

Originally posted by ^Atreyu
Tell her that if she doesn't get help and stop her ways you are going to leave her. If she cares about you enough, she will do it.

If not, then its not worth the trouble to stay with her.

very bad idea, will make her worse and will make me feel like ....


the next week should be interesting because he mum isn't giving her any money this week (simply because she cant afford to give her it due to Xmas) so for 1 week she wont be able to get drink, so either 1 of 2 things will happen.. ask me for money, my reply will be "get stuffed", or she will stop

[.Simon.]

really sorry to hear that BB, but like tril said, you should try and get her to see someone professional. i can guess that its gonna be hard, but you gotta try for her sakes man


hope it works out for ya in the end mate, good luck.

[Stephen]

well if u just need someone to talk to about it bb u have my msn or u can call me and im sure the others think the same thing

[Steve]

sry i haven't read anyone elses replies,

really do not get advice of ppl in a public forum for something this serious i.e. someone who seems to be clinically depressed and needs help from a doctor and probably some kind of psychiatrist.

i seriously hope it goes ok, i respect your commitment to someone who is in a really bad time of their life, it is very easy to walk away from that.

please get her to see some pro help, and try your hardest for it to not affect you - this is more important. she might not like you getting her help, but she will love you for it in a few years time.

[Stephen]

Originally posted by Steve

please get her to see some pro help, and try your hardest for it to not affect you - this is more important. she might not like you getting her help, but she will love you for it in a few years time.

i aggree

[-Tigger-]

Originally posted by Steve
sry i haven't read anyone elses replies,

really do not get advice of ppl in a public forum for something this serious i.e. someone who seems to be clinically depressed and needs help from a doctor and probably some kind of psychiatrist.

i seriously hope it goes ok, i respect your commitment to someone who is in a really bad time of their life, it is very easy to walk away from that.

please get her to see some pro help, and try your hardest for it to not affect you - this is more important. she might not like you getting her help, but she will love you for it in a few years time.

like i said before wasnt expecting any major advice that would cure her, but wanted to see how others have couped

like most of u have advised is for me to get her to go see someone, i was with her today for about half and hour and managed to talk her into thinking about seeing someone (suppose its a start), had to make a few promises to her though, like spend time with her on xmas eve (the 1 time of the year i just love sitting at home doing nothing to make it slow lol) if anything else happens ill let u's know