Top 5 smart answers

[-Tigger-]

Top 5 smart@rse answers for 2004.
In reverse order:



Answer 5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he
opened his coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir,
I need to see your ticket, not your stub."


Answer 4: A lady was looking through the frozen turkeys at the supermarket but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked one of the staff "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" He replied, "No madam, they're dead."


Answer 3: A policeman got out of his car and the lad who he'd stopped
for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the policeman said. The lad replied, "well I got here as fast as I could."
When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the lad on his way without a ticket.


Answer 2: A truck driver was driving along on the motorway. A "Low Bridge
Ahead" sign comes up but before he knows it, the bridge is ahead of him
and he gets stuck underneath. Traffic is tailed back for miles. Finally, the
police arrive. The policeman gets out of his car and walks to the driver,
puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck then?" The truck driver
says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol."


ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2004............... A school teacher reminds her class
of the final exam the next day. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses
for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack, a serious personal injury or illness or a death in your immediate family but that's it. No other excuses whatsoever!" A lad at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if I was suffering from complete & utter sexual exhaustion tomorrow?" The entire class was reduced to laughter and s******ing. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said "Well, I expect you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

the 1 before the last is best.. lol

[Trojan]

Answer 3: A policeman got out of his car and the lad who he'd stopped
for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the policeman said. The lad replied, "well I got here as fast as I could."
When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the lad on his way without a ticket.

is the best, lmao!

[Lucky]

Lmfao

[Erik]

The last one reminds me of my old highschool english teacher