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Humor & Jokes Got a funny joke or a funny email? Post it so we can all laugh! |
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#1
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Little Johnnie desperately wanted a bright red wagon for Christmas.
His friends were writing letters to Santa Claus, but Johnnie decided to go one better. "Dear Jesus," he wrote. "If I get a red wagon for Christmas, I won't fight with my brother Hank for a year." Then Johnnie thought, Oh, no, Hank is such a brat, I could never, ever keep that promise. So Johnnie threw away the letter and started again. "Dear Jesus, if I get a red wagon for Christmas, I will eat all my vegetables for a year." Then Johnnie thought, Oh, no, that means spinach, broccoli and asparagus. Yuck! I could never ever keep that promise. Suddenly Johnnie had an idea. He went downstairs to the living room. From the mantel above the fireplace, he grabbed the family's statue of the Virgin Mary. Taking the statue to the kitchen he wrapped it in newspapers and stuffed it into a grocery bag. He took the bag upstairs to his room, opened the closet and placed the package in the farthest, darkest corner. He then closed the closet door, took a new sheet of paper and wrote, "Dear Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again..." ![]() ![]() ![]()
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#2
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heard it b4 except it was alittle dirfent. still funny tho
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#3
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Little Johnnie desperately wanted a Video game COD4 for his birthday.
His sister were writing letters to grand mother, but Johnnie decided to go one better. "Dear grand father," he wrote. "If I get a COD4 for my birthday, I won't fight with my brother Hank for 10 year's." Then Johnnie thought, Oh, no, Hank is such a brat, I could never, ever keep that promise. So Johnnie threw away the letter and started again. "Dear grand father, if I get a COD4 for my birthday, I will eat all my vegetables for a 5 year's." Then Johnnie thought, Oh, no, that means spinach, broccoli and asparagus. Yuck! I could never ever keep that promise at all. Suddenly Johnnie had an idea. He went downstairs to the living room. From the mantel above the fireplace, he grabbed the grand father's family clock that is over 200yrs old $$$$. Taking the clock to the basement he then wrapped it in old rag towels and stuffed it into a old 5gal paint can. He took the paint can to the back yard to bury it into the ground, he then place some dirt on top of the paint can and made the grass area look nice again, took a new sheet of paper and wrote, "Dear Grand father, if you ever want to see your family clock again you buy me that COD4 game and bring it to me asap!........ Ps you only have 24hrs before the grass get water again better get me the COD4 soon or clock be water log
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