airline maintenance complaints....

[skinny killer]

my good budy Dave (known as Dave61 on these forums) showed me this. :D

Here are some supposedly actual logged maintenance complaints and problem as submitted by Quantas pilots, and the solution, as recorded by Quantas maintenenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P= The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S=The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S:Almost replaced left inside tyre.

P:Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S:Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P:Something loose in cockpit.
S:Stightened in cockpit.

P:Dead bugs on windsheild.
S:Live bugs on back-order.

P:Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S:Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P:Evidence of leck on right main landing gear.
S:Evidence removed.

P:DME volume unbelievably loud.
S:DME volume set to a move believable level.

P:Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S:That's what they're there for.

P:IFF inoperative.
S:IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P:Suspected crack in windshield.
S:Suspect you're right.

P:Number 3 engine missing.
S:Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P:Aircraft handles funny.
S:Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P:Target radar hums.
S:Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P:Mouse in cockpit.
S:Cat installed.

P:Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S:Took hammer away from midget.

:haha:

[Scott]

hehe old but still funny