[wacko replays] adult Humor PG-16

[Hellfighter]

these are some wacky reply other have made in other forums in the internet:

This just in. . . . my email box. . .


Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take
the words back or that you could crawl into a hole ?
Here are the testimonials of a few people who did...
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*I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back.

My husband
didn't say a word.

He knew better.
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*I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing
for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good- looking
gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with
men's balls."
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*My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold
a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No,
I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh
hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.

To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
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*Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was
on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in
between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While
enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my
seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny
had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go,
and he said, "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an
accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Dan! my,
are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just
KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting
worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an
accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and
spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30
people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled
up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
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*This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any? A true story. We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and
asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not

only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too!
----------------------------------------------------------------------While on a flight from New York, the Stewardess was busy passing out peanuts and cokes to everyone. There were about sixteen flights lined up waiting to get clearance to take off. Then the other Stewardess got a message from the Pilot that the tower said the wind had changed 180 degrees and they were first in line to take off, and to have everyone buckle up. Without thinking she just announced "Please buckle up, grab your drinks and hold your nuts, we're taking off." No one saw her for the rest of the flight to Houston, and all the other Stewardesses were laughing all the way and half of the passengers.
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Now, didn't that make you feel good ?

i add this in from my own mother:

it 1978 in Ohio she and my father were not doing so good job hard to get and money really low, anyways that the time frame of this small trick she pull-off on my father it not a big deal meddle of the winter she and my father gone to bed my father was already dead sleep and her feet we freezing seem he pull the blankets away from her and she like to warm them up again, so being sneaky she turn her back to him and press her iciness cold feet right into his back he jump and say what you do that for? she acted like she was full asleep and says to him, what what you mean i have no ID what you asking me about, he leaves the room lay on the couch in the front room. they was in their 40s at this time

my mom is now days 69yrs old (no joke ok), my father pass away at age 65, so much for tirement he got less then one year of SSI.

[Lucky]

zomg LOL at the stewardess one

[Mstenger404]

omg lol tats funny