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Humor & Jokes Got a funny joke or a funny email? Post it so we can all laugh! |
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#1
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so a polar bear walks into a bar....
One day, a very jealous husband comes home from work, after a ****tacular day. He walks up to his 11th story apartment room, only to discover his wife's panties on the door handle to his room. "oh hell no!" he yells, and bursts in, to discover his wife on the bed, with no one else around.
His Jealousy fully aroused, the man turns the apartment upside down, and finally checks the balcony, only to discover that a man is hanging from the railing. Now the husband goes into a fury, bashing the mans hands and fingers, until he falls. That would be the end of it, except for that, to the husbands horror, the man lands in a particularily tall tree. "crap!", so he gets the refrigerator, and throws it off the balcony, towards the man in the tree, and watches it hit the man. But all the excitement gets to the husbands heart, so he dies of a heart attack. When he gets to heaven, St. Peter meets him at the gates. St. Peter then declares, "there is a new policy in heaven, and you can only enter if you have had a really bad day". Well, the husband starts to explain, "Petey", he says, "I have had one messed up day, first I had a bad day at work, and came home to find out my wife is cheating on me. I found the coward hanging from the balcony, and tried to knock him to his demise, but he fell in a tree and lived. So I got the Refrigerator, and threw it at him, but right as it hit him, I died". St. Peter muttered, "Yes, yes.... that does suck, alright, you may enter" Then another man appears in front of St. Peter, and Peter informs him of the new policy. "Sir", he says, "There is a new policy in heaven, and you can only enter if you have had a really bad day". "Alright", the man says, "I had a pretty messed up day. I was on my treadmill, on the 12th floor balcony, when I slipped. I thought I was about to be owned by gravity, but I luckily grabbed onto the balcony below me. But then this crazy guy came out and started beating me up, until I let go. Luckily enough, there was a tree below me, so I lived, but then I looked up, and out of nowhere, comes this freakin' refrigerator". St. Peter stroked his beard and said, "Yes, that does appear to be a bad day. You may enter". Then a third man comes up, and St. Peter informs him of the new policy. "Sir", he says, "There is a new policy in heaven, and you can only enter if you have had a really bad day". So the man explains, "alright, so here I was bangin this guys wife, but then I heard him coming, so I hid in the refrigerator" ....
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#2
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lmfao
wish you would not use f-word other wise it good
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#3
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fixed
btw these are direct copy/pastes |
#4
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lmafo
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#5
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ROFL! DAMN FUNNY!
Chris_OJB_DF645 --
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