Go Back   Novahq.net Forum > Off-Topic > Humor & Jokes

Humor & Jokes Got a funny joke or a funny email? Post it so we can all laugh!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1  
Old 07-05-2006, 08:07 AM
Dragon-SC- is offline Dragon-SC-
Registered User

Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 362

Guy's Rules

The Guys' Rules

At last, a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, we have the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do NOT work! Strong hints do NOT work! Obvious hints do NOT work! Just say it!

1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, shotgun formation, golf, or sex.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape.


Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men don't mind that? It's like camping.
__________________


click button for website

Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 07-05-2006, 08:21 AM
Mstenger404 is offline Mstenger404
Registered User

Join Date: May 2005
Location: Indiana
Posts: 3,730

Send a message via MSN to Mstenger404
lmfao!!!!!


TOTAL LMFAOAOAO @ #1
__________________


Intel Q9300 Quad~2.5Ghz
PALIT GTX570
ASUS GTX280 Dedicated PhysX
WD Velociraptor 300GB 10k RPM
WD Caviar Black 1TB 7,200 RPM
4GB Patriot DDR3 1333mhz
Intel BOXDX48BT2 X48
Corsair 1000Watt Modular PSU
Windows 7 Professional 64-bit
ASUS VG238H 23" 120Hz 3D-Ready
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I know my rules! Scott Humor & Jokes 1 06-21-2006 04:22 AM
New Rules? Chrispy Feedback / Novahq.net Support 31 01-13-2006 12:14 PM
International Rules Lakie General Chat 0 10-31-2003 08:29 PM
Any Rules? TIE[-Ö-]†~GÔÅ~† Sigs and Graphics 2 11-21-2002 10:00 AM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:14 AM.




Powered by vBulletin®