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  #1  
Old 02-02-2010, 03:20 PM
Hellfighter is offline Hellfighter
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today if they was alive: Abbott and Costello


You have to be old enough to remember today, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO:
Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT:
Mac?

COSTELLO:
No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT:
Your computer?

COSTELLO
: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT:
Mac?

COSTELLO:
I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT:
What about Windows?

COSTELLO:
Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT:
Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO:
I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT:
Wallpaper.

COSTELLO:
Never mind the windows.. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT:
Software for Windows?

COSTELLO:
No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT:
Office.

COSTELLO:
Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT:
I just did.

COSTELLO:
You just did what?

ABBOTT:
Recommend something.

COSTELLO:
You recommended something?

ABBOTT:
Yes.

COSTELLO:
For my office?

ABBOTT:
Yes.

COSTELLO:
OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT:
Office.

COSTELLO:
Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT:
I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO:
I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT:
Word.

COSTELLO:
What word?

ABBOTT:
Word in Office.

COSTELLO:
The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT:
The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO:
Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT:
The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO:
I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT:
Money.

COSTELLO:
That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT:
Money.

COSTELLO:
I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT:
It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO:
What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT:
Money.

COSTELLO:
Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT:
Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO:
I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT:
One copy.

COSTELLO:
Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT:
Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO:
They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT:
Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT:
Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO:
How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT:
Click on 'START'.............
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  #2  
Old 02-02-2010, 04:32 PM
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  #3  
Old 02-02-2010, 05:27 PM
RedrumSalad is offline RedrumSalad
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rofl
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Some say that the best weapon is the one you never have to fire, well I say the best weapon is the one you only have to fire once, thats how i do it, thats how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far.

"The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his" - General George S. Patton

"Heroes are remembered, but legends never die" - The Sandlot

Whatever doesn't kill you hurts like a bitch.

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Old 02-02-2010, 06:08 PM
ShArP is offline ShArP
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lol that was funny
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Old 02-03-2010, 01:05 AM
Xx_jet_xX is offline Xx_jet_xX
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LOL thats better than whos on first because of the few days later part, and I can see people asking those questions...
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  #6  
Old 02-03-2010, 01:09 AM
Hellfighter is offline Hellfighter
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i can see this happen with Steve Vs new computer own who is like in their 60s

a call come in and they say they are having trouble with their computer system

steve ask is it window or Mac

owner says: whats a Mac and my windows are good anyways can we get back to the computer

all this going on over the telephone...four hours later Steve gave in and says please bring in your computer! so we check it out here in the computer repairable shop..owner say it working fine only the monitor is all black and there no then going on in it? at that time steve hangup
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Old 02-03-2010, 07:57 PM
Sam is offline Sam
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Hey chief, can i copy this and send it to my dad? He and I do Computer Support. This would be a good joke
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  #8  
Old 02-03-2010, 09:24 PM
Hellfighter is offline Hellfighter
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you can do that

no need to ask
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  #9  
Old 02-04-2010, 04:57 PM
Sam is offline Sam
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well i wanted to ask, just in case if i were to be banned from the forum if i didn't ask. or something like that
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