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Old 01-23-2004, 10:34 PM
atholon is offline atholon
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Film Festival

Hey there, I just went to one of the Sundance film festival showings today. The move I went and saw was called Napoleon Dynamite. It was filmed in Preston, Idaho. It was a great movie and will be coming out in theaters this spring.

Also, my state is having a film festival in March, this is one of our general screen plays for a short story, tell me if yah like/dislike it or what to change.

The inhibitor part deux
By Alan Rosenhan

OPENING- Nerd walks home from dance, it is night and sad music is playing. He is not dressed particularly nerdily. Follow shots of walking. Gets home, tries to open door, It is locked. There is a note explaining his sister locked the door to go to a friends house [close up on the note.] Goes to backyard, looks over shoulder, gets in tire, cuts to shot of climbing down huge ladder [will be done on stage of school] changes his clothes into decidedly more nerdesque attire, gets to wicked-bad looking machine and starts fiddling with it. It obviously isn’t working for some reason, so he checks to see why. His sister left ANOTHER note explaining she took a hose or something to school for show and tell. He rips the note up in extreme anger and vexation. Stuffs it in the garbage can and has a flashback:
Nerd- “this note will ultimately result in Ashley acknowledging my affection (making an elaborate valentines day note) She has no choice but to acquiesce to this heartfelt token”
(cuts to go to school, he finds her and gives it to her, struggling to sound cool) “will. . .you. . .be. . .my. . .valentine?”
Ashley-“oh, that’s so sweet, I’ll tell you. . .later” (very seductively)
Nerd- “(to himself) oh, captain kirk has nothing on this!(To her) after school, at the mascot?”
Ashley- “The answer will be waiting”
(Walking around after school)
Nerd-“I think I made a positive impression, let’s see what her response to my proposition was”
(walks to glass case, a poster saying “I’d rather be dead” is sitting there with his valentine torn up and spit upon and walked all over. Kicks the nearby garbage can and flashes back)
Nerd- “They’ll pay. They’ll all pay”(monkeys around with the machine some more)
(reconnects a hose, gets out the key and tries to start it up. It doesn’t work so hey takes the key out and looks at it. Realizes it is his car key, has another flashback)
(nerd driving in his car, a stick-shift hopefully, and even more hopefully, a piece of crap. He sees another Ashley. Stops)
Nerd- “want a ride?”
Ashley- (looks with disgust, then gets a bright idea) “sure!”
Nerd- (as she is walking towards him)“yeah. It may not look like much, but it’s got a lot of guts”
Ashley- (looking in the window) “ooooh, sounds great. Mind if I try it out?”
Nerd- (obviously excited) “O I?! It would be an honor surpassing any that I have ever. . .(gets out and walks around whilst jabbering. Gets to the back of the car and hears it peel out) “good thing I got this spare key, she might keep that one”(flashes back)
Nerd- (still looking at spare keys)“she has my keys. Going to have to go to plan Beta” (uncovers a box with holes for key cards. Gets out key card and put it in. Lights light up, start to spin and flash. Nerdy music starts to play [they might be giants or something noone likes but me], so he starts to dance. Hits his head [what would an Inhibitor be without a head hitting?] and starts to thrash about. Gets caught up in tickertape from the machine, falls down and flashes back)
Nerd- (at a school dance, alone, dressed to kill. Doesn’t look really nerdy, may not have glasses on) “this is happening. They need to play some better music though. This is ridiculous. (Goes up to DJ and asks him to play TMBG, some song noone would like. Slips him a fin and gets his request granted. Song starts and he starts dancing, grabs yet another ashley and asks her to join him. Large football player types grab him and start wrapping him up in crepe paper. They unceremoniously dump him into the hall. Music abruptly stops and DJ says something derisive about it. Gets up and flashes back into reality)
Nerd- (as he is getting up) “when will they understand? As they grow older, it will be me and mine that RULE THE WORLD! BWAHAHAHAHAAAA (stomping from upstairs ‘quiet down there, your sister is trying to sleep!’)
(machine goes, gizmos whirl and stuff, first target sighted, ashley number one is walking down the hall with her date, past the bookcase when she and her BF stop to look at the valentine that is still there. They walk by, it cuts back to nerd, he pushes button and when it gets back to them, ‘she’ is a he. Her boyfriend freaks out, and she can’t figure out what is going on until she sees herself in the mirror, a guy still wearing a dress, then she goes batty. Ashley number two is at the drive in with her boyfriend, in Nerdly’s car. They start to hug, then gets close as if to kiss, when they get really close, he sees that she is a guy also. He gets out and starts screaming. People look at him weird because it is a pansy part of a pansy movie. Someone remarks ‘it wasn’t THAT scary!’ Gets back to nerd laughing. The final blow is back in the dance. The third ashley is dancing with her football player when she turns into a guy. It must be their senior year and he must not be looking at her too closely because she turns into a guy and everybody stops and stares. The couple is oblivious to her transformation, and he gets swept up, kneels down and asks ‘her’ to marry him. Everyone is horror stricken, and when a really deep voice answers ‘I would love to’ he gets it. Cuts back to nerd’s final victory)
Nerd- “one last gift before I go.” pushes button one final time, then goes to credits.
Credits roll
hidden scene- (Family is at dinner, mom comes in crying)
mom- “Arbert, something is wring with your sister, (boo hoo)”
(sister walks in and SHE is a boy)


or ending with the Nerd forced to get rid of his creatation, then some kid (another nerd) walks along the sidewalk and see's his machine in the trash, takes it out, then fades to black, you here this scream and then it says: "oh no Jimmy what have you done," credits roll...
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Old 01-23-2004, 10:44 PM
EDGE is offline EDGE
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wow..that is long..but its good!
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Old 01-23-2004, 11:02 PM
atholon is offline atholon
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Yeah, it is a sequal to another one that was done, mmmm I should have shortened it down..
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Old 01-24-2004, 04:34 PM
Acid is offline Acid

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Your screenplay isnt formatted properly (doent really matter, unless you are entering the screenplay instead of a final short).

Here is the format guidelines:

Top Margin: 0.75" - 1.0"

Bottom Margin: 0.5" - 1.5"

Description
Left Margin: 1.5" - 2.0"
Right Margin: 1.0"

Dialogue
Left Margin: 3.0"
Right Margin: about 2.3"

Character s.d.
Left Margin: about 3.7"
Right Margin: about 3.0"

I cant really "see" it. But would like to when you are finished.

What format are you gonna shoot it on (beta,16MM, HD, DV...)?

Be careful of having too much hand held. I dont know your budget, but the story has some setups that would probably be best shot with a steadi-cam.

I have produced and directed several shorts and music videos, If you have any questions about production, feel free to PM me.

BTW. I'm a prof. filmmaker, so please remember to post when its finished. If I like it, I may be able to help you get it in front of the "right" person.

You are off to a good start.
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Old 01-25-2004, 12:23 PM
atholon is offline atholon
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Thanks acid, it isn't in the right format that is acually our first draft, I am going to modify it and go into more detail today. We are going to be using either a Cannon GL1 or a 3ccd Panasonic (I dunno what model.) I never do hand held shots, well almost never, we will be using a tripod and dolley for most of it. I will stick a link to it on here when we get it finished.
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Old 01-25-2004, 08:09 PM
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Great
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