Go Back   Novahq.net Forum > Off-Topic > Humor & Jokes
FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

Humor & Jokes Got a funny joke or a funny email? Post it so we can all laugh!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1  
Old 06-23-2010, 09:26 PM
skinny killer is offline skinny killer
skinny killer's Avatar
HappyGoLucky

Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: In your pantry
Posts: 2,975

Send a message via Yahoo to skinny killer
Signs you drink too much coffee

- You answer the door before people knock.
- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
- You ski uphill.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
- You lick your coffeepot clean.
- You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- You chew on other people's fingernails.
- Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
- You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet.
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- Cocaine is a downer.
- You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
- You don't sweat, you percolate.
- You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
- You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
- You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
- You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
- Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
- You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
- People get dizzy just watching you.
- You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
- The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
- Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
- Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
- You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
- You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
- You can thread a sewing machine while it's running.
- You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
- You short out motion detectors.
- You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
- You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
- You don't tan, you roast.
- You can't even remember your second cup.
- You help your dog chase its tail.

__________________
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 06-25-2010, 09:58 PM
Sam is offline Sam
Sam's Avatar
Nobody loves me

Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,696

__________________
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 06-30-2010, 05:35 PM
dave61 is offline dave61
dave61's Avatar
I.C.U.

Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Here & There
Posts: 2,155

Send a message via Yahoo to dave61
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 07-01-2010, 04:09 PM
ShArP is offline ShArP
ShArP's Avatar

Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
Posts: 6,790

Send a message via ICQ to ShArP Send a message via AIM to ShArP Send a message via MSN to ShArP
lol
__________________
Steam Username = BMY61

Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Too much coffee atholon General Chat 3 04-03-2008 02:20 PM
Download a ...coffee replacement Steve General Chat 1 01-21-2007 01:52 PM
Drink Chels General Chat 34 01-03-2006 08:34 AM
Interesting! Why Coffee Wakes You Up Trojan General Chat 10 06-13-2005 10:49 AM
Too much coffee 160thSOAR Humor & Jokes 3 04-28-2005 09:53 AM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:07 AM.




Powered by vBulletin®