War on Citrus Canker

[skinny killer]

In a South Florida development, state agriculture inspectors learn that eight lime trees in South Florida have been infected with citris canker. As national guard troops and tanks pour into the area, a state official states, "We are not ruling out napalm strikes."

State agriculture officials score a major victory in the War on Citrus Canker when they manage to kill two of the eight suspected lime trees with a four-hour barrage of artillery fire. Unfortunately, they also-"You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs," notes one state official-oblierate 237 homes. During the battle, the six other infected lime trees, aided by Greenpeace volunteers, are able to escape, setting off a statewide manhunt.

The war escalates as state agriculture authorities fire more than twenty-three thousand rounds in a shopping mall shoot-out against a gang of renegade orange trees, resulting in numerous civilian casualties. Unfortunately, all the trees manage to get away, but authorities confidently report that one of them "lost alot of sap."