Ever Wonder *Must Read*

[Matt]

This is a must read, some funny stuff here.


Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

------------------

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a
car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

[Scott]

lmfao these are funny as hell! Are there anymore? I seen them all before probably, but damnit they are still funny lol.

[katana*GFR*]

yeah there good lol But for sum people its neccesairy to have those instructions.
Like that person that sueed McDonalds for a cup of coffee that was hot and fall over her. DUH coffee is always when its fresh made... And then she gets her money also. How can that be? The stupidity. If they would sue a company for sumthing like that here you get laughed at. What is with that American culture? Can any1 tell me that?

Oyeah no intentions to minimize any1 i was wondering it came up my mind after reading the instructions. Which are funny.

[Matt]

Originally posted by katana*GFR*
yeah there good lol But for sum people its neccesairy to have those instructions.

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Come on now...lmao

[sally]

funny i just posted the ever wonder bit on friction but didint have the instructions thingy,must have found on a diff site lol

[zza1pqx]

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Im using that line in my forum signatures around the world form now on LOL

[Desciple]

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

That is so funny. It is a question that never fails to be brought up by at least one person on an airplane.

[EHT_TAW]

The only reason they put those warnings on is cause someone before did it.....

[Hellfighter]

Ie http://--------url link you have the [img ]---[/ img] right
but the http:\\ it is this way to work ok http://


anyway joke line spec: On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?).

can happen do to fools don't have a good Iq rating seen a guy real life try to slow down the chain with his hands after he turn it off could not wait for it to stop not much to say on that he gone to hosp they remove his hand good thing the changesaw did came to a stop after his hands was cutup a lot.
yep there are some out there

here one a guy clame to be a painter he was painting in his home using a paintgun elec-type had all the doors close & windows close down to keep the smell of it (wet-paint) down so no one can smell it other then him,bad new's he lasted 5min and blowup do to the motor of the paintgun couse it to blowup. police did a test found it had 4x the thinner the paint needed melted the hose in the paintgun motor lite it up and backlash on him the paint gone over his body 97% burnup, a elec-cord lay on top of him it melted to elec was on.he die after 3days in the hosp.

you use a paintgun elec-type have all windows & doors open he blowup like a nothen i even seen no clothes on at all burn away all

things do happen when they do the Mfg's have to make Warning for them fools out there bad thing some can read but don't care to read the Warnings

[Evil-Angel*Mod*]

Can i be a part of dfhq staff?plz