F My Life

[ShArP]

http://www.fmylife.com/

very funny site

any that you see on there that is really funny, post 'em up!!

[ShArP]

oh man here is a good one:

"Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML"

[Hellfighter]

Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall, when a homeless man came in mumbling to himself. Out of the 7 available urinals, he posted up at the one right beside me. Apparently he didn't get the memo that urinals aren't used to make a solid deposited in to. He talked to me the entire time. About his sex life. FML

god thats funny as hell.

nice find sharp

[ShArP]

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year told me he thinks he might be gay. I took off my shirt, sexily climbed over him and began to kiss him passionately. "What do you think now?" I said seductively. His response? "Now I'm sure I'm gay." FML

[RedrumSalad]

lol

[RedrumSalad]

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused caling me Jill & her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

[RedrumSalad]

Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house late at night. Driving up a hill, I see a deer run across the road. I love deer, so I stared at it as it hopped the fence on the other side. I then felt a huge bump as my car hit the other deer that was behind it. FML

[RedrumSalad]

Today, I wake up, switch on TV and the first thing I see is the picture of a wanted rapist who looks just like me. I’m afraid to leave home. FML

[Scott]

I used to read that site when I was bored in lecture... after busting out laughing a few times I had to stop.. Good site when your bored .. Theres another one by the same guy it's the opposite: http://www.givesmehope.com/. Not nearly as funny

[Hellfighter]

Originally Posted by ShArP

oh man here is a good one:

"Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML"

i known a guy once got hypnotized at a night club magic show! they were told "when ever they heard the numbers 77 they had to call their mother and would do anything to call them!" as if the world was coming to a end! they had to call them on a telephone!

and after they was release after being hypnotized all the people started to yell 77, the guy started a fight with a bartender to get a hold of the phone behind the bar. every one was laughing out loud.

think another guy was told he is a chicken and another guy was told he was a stripper & a girl who never had any kids in her life! was told she was now a mother of six kids and all of them was out around the table playing each other! she was told please get your kids together in one area off to one side stage. don't ask what kids was her's? she ran around picking out one after another adult saying to them "get your butt over there and stop crying!" funny as hell

[ShArP]

Today, I went to the grocery store. My checker was very hot. When it came time for me to pay, I swiped my debit card & the machine kept rejecting it. Sure that I had money in my account, I did it again, before the cute checker informed me that I was swiping my driver's license, not my debit. FML

[jhen110]

Some say that the best weapon is the one you never have to fire, well I say the best weapon is the one you only have to fire once, thats how i do it, thats how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far.

[Hellfighter]

no then like the love of cold steel it will never do you bad or wrong

unlike people they lie, steal, hurt each other but cold steel can give life or death in the holder of the cold steel is the power do good or bad deeds.

cold steel can be anything knife, gun, rifle, medical tools.........even a car/ truck in one hold's the fate of many!

[Chrispy]

Someone posted a link to that site somewhere in the spam section and since then I've been going there regularly. Good stuff there!

[RedrumSalad]

Originally Posted by jhen110

Some say that the best weapon is the one you never have to fire, well I say the best weapon is the one you only have to fire once, thats how i do it, thats how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far.

u got that out of my sig didnt u?

[ShArP]

Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML

[ShArP]

Today, I found what I assumed was my laptop, though my mother has the same one. As I opened it, I was greeted by a video of my father waving. He wasn't using his hands. FML

[RedrumSalad]

read both of those 2 day, lol, wish i could post the ones that involve sex, those ones are awesome

[RedrumSalad]

Today I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

A comment:

regardless of him being/not being your real father, thats just a f***ed up thing to say.

[.Simon.]

^ LOL! xD