***JOKES***

[~FB~Ghandi]

Top 10 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Religion

10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.

9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.

8. Beer has never caused a major war.

7. They don't force Beer on minors who can't think for themselves.

6. When you have a Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.

5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his brand of Beer.

4. You don't have to wait 2000+ years for a second Beer.

3. There are laws saying Beer labels can't lie to you.

2. You can prove you have a Beer.

1. If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.

[~FB~Ghandi]

3 Chinese Tortures

A man is walking through a forest in China. He becomes tired and notices a castle, seeing as there was no-where else to go and it was beggining to rain the man decides to ask if he could stay there. A short chinese man answers the door and the hiker states his case about being cold and tired and it beggining to rain. The chinese man being very pleasent and helpful decides to let the man stay for the night aslong as he didn't sleep with the Chinese man's daughter. The hiker agrees and he makes his way to the room he is told to stay in. When he opens the door he sees the Chinese man's daughter lying on the bed playing with herself. Getting excited the hiker gets closer to the sexy woman and in the end starts ****ing her something rotten. In the morning when the hiker wakes up there is a boulder lying on his chest with a note attached that says.......

CHINESE TORTURE No1
You must throw the boulder out of the window!!

The hiker lifts the boulder off his chest and throws it out of the 4th story window. He then notices another note that says......

CHINESE TORTURE No2
The boulder is attached to your right testical by a piece of string!!

Without any time to undo the not the man jumps out of the window in order to save his balls. On his way down he notices another note saying.......

CHINESE TORTURE No3
Your left testical is attached to the window frame!!!!!

[~FB~Ghandi]

Old Tricks
Jesus and Moses were sitting on a bench in heaven, remembering the good old days. They talked about what they used to be able to do and wondered if they still had their old tricks in them. So, they decided to go see if they still had extra-wordly powers like they had so many years before. The pair went to the Red Sea and Moses raised his hands and parted the sea just like he had when he was much much younger. Jesus, clearly amazed, asked Moses, "There's so much that I did, but what could I do now to see if I still have the power?" "Walk on water like the good old days," replied Moses. So Jesus kicked off his sandals and stepped into the water. He took three steps on the surface and then sank under the murky waters of the Red Sea. Dumbfounded, he looked at Moses and wondered what was the matter. "Must be those damn holes in your feet, " Moses responded.

[Steve]

lmao



great stuff m8. now everyone in the office is wondering why im laughing my nuts off

LoL good jokes bro i like the 2nd one the best

[~FB~Ghandi]

Dark In Here...

A woman takes a lover during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year-old son comes home unexpectedly so she puts him in the closet and shuts the door.
Her husband also comes home early, so she puts her lover in the closet with the little boy.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "25 dollars."
Man: "Fine".

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are In the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball mitt."
Remembering the last time, he asks, "how much?"
Boy: "75 dollars."
Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the boy's father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth." The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
Father: "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy: "100 dollars."

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that, 100 dollars is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father makes him sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."

The Priest says, "Don't start that **** again!"

[~FB~Ghandi]

Shy Guy...

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar.

After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"

Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.

Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200 for a blowjob?"

[Kurupt]

that was on freaks site.....he had a link for it...it was a flash joke