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one of the keys to a good joke is that the joke has to flow. Starting every other sentence with "then i" or "then he" ruins that flow. And of course, the joke has to make sense. The only reason why we know the two are sitting next to each other is because you said they were.
As I read the "joke", I felt it was a normal email correspondence - nothing in the joke says they were at work together, as far as the joke is concerned one could be at work and the other on mars.
Keep working at it - make the jokes flow, and make sure you are providing all the necessary components for it to make sense.
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