[bigsmellyfart]

A young man goes to confession and says, "Father, it
has been one month since my last confession. I have
had sex with Nookie Green every week for the last
month."
The priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go
out and say three Hail Mary's."

Soon after, another man enters the confessional.
"Father, it has been two months since my last
confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green twice
a week for the last two months." This time the
priest questions, "Who is Nookie Green?" "A new
woman in the neighborhood," the sinner replies.
"Very well," sighs the priest. "Go and say ten Hail
Mary's."

At Mass the next morning, as the priest prepares to
deliver his sermon, a gorgeous, tall woman enters
the sanctuary. All the men's eyes fall upon her as
she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down right
in front of the priest. Her dress is green and very
short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes. The
priest and altar boy gasp, as the woman in the
matching green shoes and dress sits with her legs
slightly spread apart.

The priest turns to the altar boy and whispers, "Is
that Nookie Green?"
The bug-eyed altar boy replies, "No, I think it's
just the reflection off her shoes!"