[Tactics -r2-]

30 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

3. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

4. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

5. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

6. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, 'I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares,' and see what happens.

7. Play with the automatic doors.

8. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, 'Who BUYS this crap, anyway?'

9. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a 'test drive.'

10. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, 'Wow.Magic!'

11. Put M&M's on layaway.

12. Move 'Caution: Wet Floor' signs to carpeted areas.

13. Test the fishing rods and see what you can 'catch' from the other aisles.

14. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, '...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!'

15. TP as much of the store as possible.

16. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

17. Play with the calculators so that they all spell 'hello' upside down.

18. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, 'Red Rover!'

19. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hiredemployees if there are any in stock, i.e., 'Do you have any Shnerples here?'

20. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

21.While handling guns in the huntingdepartment, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

22. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

23. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from 'Mission: Impossible.'

24. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

25. Say things like, 'Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?'

26. Set up a 'Valet Parking' sign in front of the store.

27. Two words: 'Marco Polo.'

28. In the auto department, practice your 'Madonna' look with various funnels.

29. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

30. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, 'No, no! It's those voices again!'