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Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidently pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML
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A comment:
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Um....are you sure you're not the one that's blonde?
She probably saw the car coming...
Today, I was walking across the street. I slowed down because there was a car coming and I didn't want to get hit. Randomly, this guy runs and tackles me straight into the oncoming car. FML
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and another:
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You, sir, are as smooth as curdled milk.
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Some say that the best weapon is the one you never have to fire, well I say the best weapon is the one you only have to fire once, thats how i do it, thats how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far.
"The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his" - General George S. Patton
"Heroes are remembered, but legends never die" - The Sandlot
Whatever doesn't kill you hurts like a bitch.
R.I.P Murphy 
September 10, 1995 - April 21, 2010
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