[bigsmellyfart]

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong
finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."


A lady inserted an 'ad' in the : "Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better
revenge than to let her keep him.

A wo/man is incomplete until she is married. Then s/he
is finished.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does
it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still
paying."

Young son: "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of
Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries
her?"
Dad: "That is true in every country, son."


Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what
real happiness was until I got married, and by then,
it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict
attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
through life thinking they had no faults at all.


First guy: "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."


Women will never be equal to men until they can walk
down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and
still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.


Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with
their nine children. A blind man joins them after a
few minutes. When the bus arrives they find it
overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are
able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the
blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband
gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the
blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to
him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end
of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me
crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you had put a rubber at
the end of YOUR stick, we'd both be riding the bus,
so shut up."


Wives are like ANGELS always up in the air and
harping about something.