[bigsmellyfart]

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of
her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting
your finger off?"
"No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I
thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting
myself in the chest."
"So then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to
get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."
"So then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a
loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."