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LOCK STOCK AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS ( rating, * * * * out of 5 )

Four lesser thieves from the East End of London find themselves dangerously in debt to a local smut peddler - the result of a fixed poker game. The consequence being that until they repay the money owed, each one will lose a finger for each day the payment is late.

While trying to figure their desperate predicament, they overhear their gangster neighbors setting up a score from some slumberous marijuana dealers and decide that knocking over the neighbours is their only way out.


Here's a good example of the dialog: This is an idea Tom comes up with to repay the debt to the rigge poker game:

Tom: Listen to this one then; you open a company called the Arse Tickler's Faggot Fan Club. You take an advert in the back page of some gay mag, advertising the latest in arse-intruding dildos, sell it a bit with, er... I dunno, "does what no other dildo can do until now", latest and greatest in sexual technology. Guaranteed results or money back, all that bollocks. These dills cost twenty-five each; a snip for all the pleasure they are going to give the recipients. They send a cheque to the company name, nothing offensive, er, Bobbie's Bits or something, for twenty-five. You put these in the bank for two weeks and let them clear. Now this is the clever bit. Then you send back the cheques for twenty-five pounds from the real company name, Arse Tickler's Faggot Fan Club, saying sorry, we couldn't get the supply from America, they have sold out. Now you see how many of the people cash those cheques; not a single soul, because who wants his bank manager to know he tickles arses when he is not paying in cheques!