Nuts
 

A tongue-tied man goes into a nut shop, and the first thing he notices is that the guy behind the counter has the largest nose he's ever seen.


The tongue-tied guy quickly turns his attention to the merchandise and asks, "Ess-tues me, sir?"


"Yes?" replies the clerk.


"Tould you tale me how mutsh your pisstasheos arr?"


"Pistachio's? They're six dollars a pound."


"SSit!" The tongue-tied guy goes back to browsing and then asks, "Welp, how mutsh arr your aahhmons?"


"Almonds? They're seven fifty a pound."


"SSIT! Tas pensive," replies the tongue-tied man. "Welp, how bout your pikanns?"


"Pecans? They're on sale today, they're only four fifty a pound."


"Welp, Ssit. Just div me a pound of dose dhen."


"All right then," says the clerk as he begins bagging up a pound of pecans.


Then the tongue-tied guy says to the clerk, "Sirr, I just wanna tay tank you of not making fun of de way I talk, cauz I tan't hep it."


The clerk replies with a smile. "Oh sir, you don't have to thank me for that. I don't make fun of anybody. I don't know if you noticed but I have a rather large nose."


The tongue-tied guy replies, "Oh, is dat your noze? I tought dat wuz your pecker since your nuts are so high."

ehehehe lmfao