Novahq.net Forum - ooooooooooooootch

Oohh!!.
>Bizarre 'Sex Accidents' Suffered by Blokes...
>
>A man turned up at a hospital wearing an overcoat, and with blood
>dripping
>down his leg. When he removed the coat, the doctor saw he had a
>geranium
>inserted in his penis. The man had got the flower in without any
>difficulty, but when he tried to remove it, the hairs on the stem of the
>flower had dug into the urethra and ripped it to shreds.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~
>A policeman in Staffordshire returned home from a night shift to his
>wife
>preparing breakfast. For some unknown reason, he wrapped a slice of
>bread
>around his penis, at which point the dog leapt up and took a bite out of
>it.
>The man needed cosmetic surgery to restore the damage.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>A 34-year old New Yorker injected a cocaine solution into his penis to
>heighten his sexual pleasure. After enjoying intercourse with his
>girlfriend on not one but two occasions, he noticed that his erection
>was
>still at its full glory. Having struggled to sleep through the night
>he
>woke up to find his boner still standing proud, but due to him worrying
>about the police finding out about his possession, and indeed the use
>of an
>illegal substance, he decided against visiting his doctor. However
>after
>three days of enduring headaches and nausea, caused by the constant
>trouser
>swelling, he went to the hospital in search of help.
>
>He was admitted immediately and referred to a specialist who diagnosed
>lack
>of oxygen to vital bloodstreams in his body, as the cause of his
>sickness.
>He was given numerous drugs and antibiotics to combat the swelling, but
>shortly afterwards developed blood clots in various parts of his body
>with
>gangrene setting in. As a result he lost both legs, nine fingers and
>his
>penis.
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>This is really gruesome...
>When a mate was studying in Ireland, he took up rugby. As his first
>season
>wore on, the lads and him were eventually scheduled to play a team which
>had
>a reputation for violent play. Considering that they weren't the most
>talented outfit to have ever taken the field, they decided to accept the
>challenge with a "do or die" attitude, hoping things would eventually
>swing
>their way.
>
>They didn't, and to make matters worse their star player dislocated his
>hip
>after a particularly ferocious tackle. He was clearly in a lot of pain,
>so
>they all stood back to allow the medic to, in one swift movement, slot
>the
>hip back into its socket.
>
>Then Alan began a long blood curdling scream. To their horror, they
>realised
>that one of his testicles had also been jammed into the socket and was
>now
>firmly held in the place by the hip.
>
>Incidentally, he also managed to rip a vocal chord with his screaming.