64 questions that are too 1337 even for Chuck Norris
 

They're not exactly funny, but if you answer one of these, I'll give you a holographic cookie.
1) How do you ship styrofoam?
2) How young can you die of old age?
3) If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2?
4) If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
5) Do you need a silencer to shoot a mime?
6) If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?
7) If you choke a Smurf, what color will it turn?
8) How do Keep Off The Grass signs get there?
9) Is there another word for synonym?
10) Could God make a burrito so hot he couldn't eat it?
11) Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
12) If a person told you they were a pathological liar, would you believe them?
13) Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
14) Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
15) Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
16) If Jimmy cracks corn, and no one cares, why is there a song about it?
17) If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconuts, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
18) What was the best thing before sliced bread?
19) If you make a cow laugh, will milk come out its nose?
20) Why can't Mr. Fork and Mr. Electrical Socket be friends?
21) If a schizophrenic threatens suicide, is it declared a hostage situation?
22) Who was the first to see a cow and think "I wonder what will happen if i squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?"
23) If you're against picketing, how do you show it?
24) If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown?
25) If buttered bread always lands on the butter-side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what happens if you strap buttered bread to a cat's back?
26) Do fish get thirsty?
27) How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
28) If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
29) If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
30) If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
31) Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
32) How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
33) Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
34) Who copyrighted the copyright symbol?
35) How is it that "Fat Chance" and "Slim Chance" mean the same thing?
36) Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
37) Why are boxing rings square?
38) Why doesn't the glue stick inside the bottle?
39) Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
40) Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
41) What do you do when a endangered animal eats endangered plants?
42) If a turtle does not have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
43) Is it true cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
44) If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?
45) Do penguins have knees?
46) Isn't it weird that if you rearrange the word "teacher" you get "cheater"?
47) If you sneeze and fart at the same time, does a vacuum form in your stomach?
48) Who was in the kitchen with Dina?
49) Do cows have calf muscles?
50) Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval?
51) Why do people order a double cheeseburger, large fries, and a diet soda?
52) If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?
53) Is angel food cake just as good in heaven?
54) Why didn't the person who invented the Snooze button win a Nobel Prize?
55) If the wicked witch melted when touched with water wouldn't she smell horrible?
56) Who's in the Burger King suit?
57) How does Freddy Kruger wipe?
58) Since we see little birdies when we just get knocked out, what do little birdies see when they just get knocked out?
59) How did the headless horseman know where he was going?
60) Can a hearse driver drive in the carpool lane?
61) What came first the chicken or the egg?
62) If a fly gets it's wings pulled off, why isn't it called a walk?
63) Why do "thaw" and "unthaw" mean the same thing?
64) Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

hehehe

01.) bagged
02.) 55yrs old, why you get cheated out retirement
03.) its a long lasting pencil as will the mostly cheap to buy.
04.) if your not making over 2 million dollars you basic fail.
05.) they are both dead-end jobs
06.) its call road kill, great for kitting soup.
07.) they turn black
08.) they hire a sport actor to case it into the grass area to post the sign there.
09.) synonymous
10.) no
11.) no they have to many winners then
12.) yea and leave them for good.
13.) I never seen a man as a broker only seen sweet old lady's as brokers, your so lucky to see a male broker.
14.) there was one but was banned in 1970s, animal rights groups kill it.
15.) they are dead already, no need for it.
16.) kids under the age of 5 are brain wash to love it.
17.) they had no handy man around to fix pips, wood work and other thing.
18.) Bake the bread first
19.) they give off more gas they already try it, the testers all got gas to death. bad ID
20.) you never heard of fork-lighting? they are lovers
21.) No laboratory test for schizophrenia exists till this date.
22.) remember to test the milk first! see if it clean before drinking it.
23.) put up a big poster up saying M-Jackson love you still.
24.) no! still fair for all they still can if they wish to follow the that swimming path.
25.) it lands on its sunny side up.
26.) always. watch them after 3hrs remove the fish from tank they die without water.
27.) smell test........you had to ask this?
28.) no they use sand paper then.
29.) the black box cost way more then the plane parts, in this case it need to be save and resell to the air line $$$$. a person is a one shot deal the black box can be rebuild and upgraded.
30.) yes and they have to right to charge them anything under the sun as will, talk about given their rights way without a word said spoken out.
31.) in-case Rosie O'Donnell drive in to use it.
32.) its a waiting area for the Deer hunter's to get a free kill for all. they like cars and truck to run into them, then they untrained deer hurter's can clean the roadway and bag a deer without a shot fire.
33.) Jimmy carter
34.) Joe Micheal copy right it back in the 1820s
35.) 50/50 eye site
36.) rich or poor eat the same thing all the time.
37.) it was never that from the start! group of people stand around them and if any of them get close to the outer ring they get hit with a baseball bat to get back into the center area of the fight. old says save face get back in there!
38.) salty petter! no then stick to it.

other can take this over

Wow. How godly, Chief.

lol

11) Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

hmm, lol, good question.

like the phychic network that went bankrupt, looks like they would have seen it comeing.