Hellfighter
05-20-2003, 11:50 PM
http://www.oddtidings.com/janwbible.jpeg
IRVING, TX (OT)- Thousands of well-wishers held a candlelight vigil outside the headquarters of Trinity Broadcasting Network (TBN) in Irving, Texas todaywhere Jan Crouch has been holed-up for six weeks. The white trash prophetess of TBN's new reality show "Heresy Today" has been stricken with what her husband and co-host Paul Crouch described as "a nest of demons" in her hair. "She's been like this for over thirty days. The anointing has been taken away from her. Her hair is home to a tribe of demons straight from the pit of hell," Crouch told OT. Longtime TBN guest and friend of the Crouches, Benny Hinn, is reportedly organizing an all-star team of the most anointed people in Christendom including Kenneth Copeland and Kenneth Hagin to vanquish the brood of demons.
Hinn recently informed his Orlando congregation and TV audience that God has given him special revelation knowledge that Jan will not be healed until the people of God offer ten million dollars to his ministry in the name of Jan's anointed healing. He challenged his viewers to "pray and fast- and use the money used from fasting" to give to the cause. "Five times I have asked the Lord to deliver this woman and five times I have been denied. He says that even I don't have enough anointing power to deliver her. Only with the offering can her hair be saved. And only then can the people get their blessing."
Lyda Baker, an enthusiastic senior from the congregation poured out the contents of her purse at a special rally for Jan's hair. "I may not eat and my grandkids may not get Christmas presents, but if this is what it takes to get my blessing, then I'm willing to do it. Who knows? I've been trying to win the lottery for years but each time I've failed. I believe that this is the offering that will get me that blessing."
Still, not everyone was in agreement with the proposed offering. "I wish people would just wake up and realize that this is just evidence of the lack of faith that Jan and Paul [Crouch] have in themselves and the Lord," said Joel Osteen of Houston's Lakewood Church. If these people would just come to Lakewood we'd get rid of that negative thought and unlock the winner in each of them. Just look at how they dress. Paul Crouch looks like someone from the Grand Ole Opry. Besides, if Paul really had faith he'd have a hot babe for a wife like me. If those same people offered 10 million at Lakewood the Lord would multiply it a hunderd fold. We'd be rentin' out Reliant Stadium 'stead of the Compaq Center."
When asked about the prospect of saving Jan's hair using the force, Yoda had no comment.
Man what next con job they going to do.
I'll make it easy cut it all off
ok so god like to get paid for his service now :lmfao:
IRVING, TX (OT)- Thousands of well-wishers held a candlelight vigil outside the headquarters of Trinity Broadcasting Network (TBN) in Irving, Texas todaywhere Jan Crouch has been holed-up for six weeks. The white trash prophetess of TBN's new reality show "Heresy Today" has been stricken with what her husband and co-host Paul Crouch described as "a nest of demons" in her hair. "She's been like this for over thirty days. The anointing has been taken away from her. Her hair is home to a tribe of demons straight from the pit of hell," Crouch told OT. Longtime TBN guest and friend of the Crouches, Benny Hinn, is reportedly organizing an all-star team of the most anointed people in Christendom including Kenneth Copeland and Kenneth Hagin to vanquish the brood of demons.
Hinn recently informed his Orlando congregation and TV audience that God has given him special revelation knowledge that Jan will not be healed until the people of God offer ten million dollars to his ministry in the name of Jan's anointed healing. He challenged his viewers to "pray and fast- and use the money used from fasting" to give to the cause. "Five times I have asked the Lord to deliver this woman and five times I have been denied. He says that even I don't have enough anointing power to deliver her. Only with the offering can her hair be saved. And only then can the people get their blessing."
Lyda Baker, an enthusiastic senior from the congregation poured out the contents of her purse at a special rally for Jan's hair. "I may not eat and my grandkids may not get Christmas presents, but if this is what it takes to get my blessing, then I'm willing to do it. Who knows? I've been trying to win the lottery for years but each time I've failed. I believe that this is the offering that will get me that blessing."
Still, not everyone was in agreement with the proposed offering. "I wish people would just wake up and realize that this is just evidence of the lack of faith that Jan and Paul [Crouch] have in themselves and the Lord," said Joel Osteen of Houston's Lakewood Church. If these people would just come to Lakewood we'd get rid of that negative thought and unlock the winner in each of them. Just look at how they dress. Paul Crouch looks like someone from the Grand Ole Opry. Besides, if Paul really had faith he'd have a hot babe for a wife like me. If those same people offered 10 million at Lakewood the Lord would multiply it a hunderd fold. We'd be rentin' out Reliant Stadium 'stead of the Compaq Center."
When asked about the prospect of saving Jan's hair using the force, Yoda had no comment.
Man what next con job they going to do.
I'll make it easy cut it all off
ok so god like to get paid for his service now :lmfao: