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06-18-2002, 01:11 PM
This is a true story from the Word Perfect Help line
which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the
customer care department. Needless to say, the Help
Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently
suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination
without Cause" (now I know why they record these
conversations!).
PC Tech : "Rick Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Customer: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
PC Tech : "What sort of trouble?"
Customer: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden
the words went away."
PC Tech: "Went away?"
Customer: "They disappeared."
PC Tech: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Customer: "Nothing."
PC Tech: "Nothing?"
Customer: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
PC Tech: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
Customer: "How do I tell?"
PC Tech: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
Customer: "What's a sea-prompt?"
PC Tech: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
screen?"
Customer: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept
anything I type."
PC Tech: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
Customer: "What's a monitor?"
PC Tech: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks
like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells
you when it's on?"
Customer: "I don't know."
PC Tech: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
where the powercord goes into it. Can you see
that?"
Customer: "Yes, I think so."
PC Tech: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
it's plugged into the wall."
Customer: "Yes, it is."
PC Tech: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice
that there were two cables plugged into the back of
it, not just one?"
Customer: "No."
PC Tech: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there
again and find the other cable."
Customer: "Okay, here it is."
PC Tech: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
securely into the back of your computer."
Customer: "I can't reach."
PC Tech: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
Customer: "No."
PC Tech: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and
lean way over?"
Customer: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle--
it's because it's dark."
PC Tech: "Dark?"
Customer: "Yes--the office light is off, and the only light I
have is coming in from the window."
PC Tech: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Customer: "I can't."
PC Tech: "No? Why not?"
Customer: "Because there's a power failure."
PC Tech: "A power...A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it
licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals
and packing stuff your computer came in?"
Customer: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.
PC Tech: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack
it up just like it was when you got it. Then take
it back to the store you bought it from."
Customer: "Really? Is it that bad?"
PC Tech: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Customer: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
them?"
PC Tech: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a
computer."
which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the
customer care department. Needless to say, the Help
Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently
suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination
without Cause" (now I know why they record these
conversations!).
PC Tech : "Rick Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Customer: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
PC Tech : "What sort of trouble?"
Customer: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden
the words went away."
PC Tech: "Went away?"
Customer: "They disappeared."
PC Tech: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Customer: "Nothing."
PC Tech: "Nothing?"
Customer: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
PC Tech: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
Customer: "How do I tell?"
PC Tech: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
Customer: "What's a sea-prompt?"
PC Tech: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
screen?"
Customer: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept
anything I type."
PC Tech: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
Customer: "What's a monitor?"
PC Tech: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks
like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells
you when it's on?"
Customer: "I don't know."
PC Tech: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
where the powercord goes into it. Can you see
that?"
Customer: "Yes, I think so."
PC Tech: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
it's plugged into the wall."
Customer: "Yes, it is."
PC Tech: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice
that there were two cables plugged into the back of
it, not just one?"
Customer: "No."
PC Tech: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there
again and find the other cable."
Customer: "Okay, here it is."
PC Tech: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
securely into the back of your computer."
Customer: "I can't reach."
PC Tech: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
Customer: "No."
PC Tech: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and
lean way over?"
Customer: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle--
it's because it's dark."
PC Tech: "Dark?"
Customer: "Yes--the office light is off, and the only light I
have is coming in from the window."
PC Tech: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Customer: "I can't."
PC Tech: "No? Why not?"
Customer: "Because there's a power failure."
PC Tech: "A power...A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it
licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals
and packing stuff your computer came in?"
Customer: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.
PC Tech: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack
it up just like it was when you got it. Then take
it back to the store you bought it from."
Customer: "Really? Is it that bad?"
PC Tech: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Customer: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
them?"
PC Tech: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a
computer."