CWoFHaR
02-04-2002, 04:56 PM
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The
government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
PERESTROIKA: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the "free" market.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government
takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
MILITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
APARTHEID: You have two cows. You give the black
cow's milk to the white cow to drink and don't milk the white cow.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate.” The cow sues you for breach of contract.
BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them sheep’s brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.
IRAQI DEMOCRACY: You cannot inspect the 2 cows.
JAPANESE DEMOCRACY: You have 2 cows. You give the milk for gangsters so they don't ask awkward questions about who you are giving the milk to.
MALAYSIAN DEMOCRACY: The cows are now controlled from grazing and you are jailed for being unfit to rear cows.
NIGERIAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you and sends the cows to Zurich.
RUSSIAN DEMOCRACY: You are still queuing for the first cow.
SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.
UNITED NATIONS: You have two cows. Russia vetoes the farmer from milking them. Britain and France veto the cows from milking the farmers. USA abstains.
CAPITALISM: You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral.
NEW CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull; take out huge loan on the cow, and ignore both the cow and the loan from that point on; then you try to milk the bull, and blame the Japanese for its lack of production.
HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the feng shui is bad.
PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
ANARCHISM: You have two cows. The cows shoot you and milk each other.
LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. One has actually read the constitution, believes in it, and has some really good ideas about government. The cow runs for office, and while most people agree that the cow is the best candidate, nobody except the other cow votes for her because they think it would be "throwing their vote away."
ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
COLOMBIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. They are kidnapped by drug dealers, but your insurance company pays the ransom, and you get them back.
NATIONALISM: You have two cows. You donate both to the government because you love it so much.
;) :lmao: :lmfao: :lol: :gj:
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The
government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
PERESTROIKA: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the "free" market.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government
takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
MILITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
APARTHEID: You have two cows. You give the black
cow's milk to the white cow to drink and don't milk the white cow.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate.” The cow sues you for breach of contract.
BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them sheep’s brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.
IRAQI DEMOCRACY: You cannot inspect the 2 cows.
JAPANESE DEMOCRACY: You have 2 cows. You give the milk for gangsters so they don't ask awkward questions about who you are giving the milk to.
MALAYSIAN DEMOCRACY: The cows are now controlled from grazing and you are jailed for being unfit to rear cows.
NIGERIAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you and sends the cows to Zurich.
RUSSIAN DEMOCRACY: You are still queuing for the first cow.
SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.
UNITED NATIONS: You have two cows. Russia vetoes the farmer from milking them. Britain and France veto the cows from milking the farmers. USA abstains.
CAPITALISM: You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral.
NEW CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull; take out huge loan on the cow, and ignore both the cow and the loan from that point on; then you try to milk the bull, and blame the Japanese for its lack of production.
HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the feng shui is bad.
PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
ANARCHISM: You have two cows. The cows shoot you and milk each other.
LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. One has actually read the constitution, believes in it, and has some really good ideas about government. The cow runs for office, and while most people agree that the cow is the best candidate, nobody except the other cow votes for her because they think it would be "throwing their vote away."
ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
COLOMBIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. They are kidnapped by drug dealers, but your insurance company pays the ransom, and you get them back.
NATIONALISM: You have two cows. You donate both to the government because you love it so much.
;) :lmao: :lmfao: :lol: :gj: