Steve
01-18-2002, 07:41 AM
The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the
other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
spelling had room for improvement and has accepted a five year plan that
would be known as "EuroEnglish"
In the first year, "S" will replace the soft "C". Sertainly this will make
the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "C" will be dropped in favour of
the "K". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less
letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when troublesome
"PH" will be replased with "F", this will make words like "fotograf" 20%
shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated letter kombinations are
possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters that have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also al wil agre that the horid silent "E"'s in the languag are disgrasful
and should be removd. In the fourth year peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such
as replasing "TH" with "Z" and "W" with "V". During ze fifz year ze
unesesary "O" kan be droped from vords kontainin "OU" and similar
alterations vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinatons of leters. After zis
fifz yer ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or
difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to komunikat viz ech ozer.
"ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU !!!!!"
will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the
other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
spelling had room for improvement and has accepted a five year plan that
would be known as "EuroEnglish"
In the first year, "S" will replace the soft "C". Sertainly this will make
the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "C" will be dropped in favour of
the "K". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less
letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when troublesome
"PH" will be replased with "F", this will make words like "fotograf" 20%
shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated letter kombinations are
possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters that have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also al wil agre that the horid silent "E"'s in the languag are disgrasful
and should be removd. In the fourth year peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such
as replasing "TH" with "Z" and "W" with "V". During ze fifz year ze
unesesary "O" kan be droped from vords kontainin "OU" and similar
alterations vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinatons of leters. After zis
fifz yer ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or
difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to komunikat viz ech ozer.
"ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU !!!!!"