Steve
01-18-2002, 07:38 AM
For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when
> >dealing with women.
> >
> >Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just
> >how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule
> >applies:
> >
> >Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.
> >Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.
> >You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's
> >the
> >way the game is played.
> >
> >Here is a guide to the points system:
> >SIMPLE DUTIES
> >You make the bed.....+1
> >You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.....0
> >You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets....-1
> >You leave the toilet seat up...-5
> >You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings....+5
> >in the snow.....+8
> >but return with beer....-5
> >and no liners....-25
> >You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0
> >You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing...... 0
> >You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5
> >You pummel it with a six iron.....+10
> >It's her cat......-40
> >
> >AT THE PARTY
> >You stay by her side the entire party....0
> >You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a high
> >school
> >drinking buddy.....-2
> >Named Tiffany......-4
> >Tiffany is a dancer.....-10
> >With breast implants....-18
> >
> >HER BIRTHDAY
> >You remember her birthday....0 You buy a card and flowers....0
> >You take her out to dinner.......0
> >You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1
> >Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2
> >And it's all-you-can-eat night......-3
> >It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
> >painted
> >the colours of your favourite team.....-10
> >
> >A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
> >Go with a pal....0
> >The pal is happily married......+1
> >The pal is single......-7
> >He drives a Ferrari......-10
> >With a personalised license plate (GR8 NBED).....-15
> >
> >A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
> >You take her to a movie...+2
> >You take her to a movie she likes....+4
> >You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
> >You take her to a movie you like.....-2
> >It's called Death Cop 3.....-3 Which features Cyborgs that eat
> >humans.....-9
> >You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans....-15
> >
> >YOUR PHYSIQUE
> >You develop a noticeable pot belly......-15
> >You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it....+10
> >You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and
> >baggy
> >Hawaiian shirts....-30
> >You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."....-800
> >
> >THE BIG QUESTION
> >She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
> >You hesitate in responding.....-10
> >You reply, "Where?"......-35
> >Any other response.....-20 >
> >
> >COMMUNICATION
> >When she wants to talk about a problem:
> >You listen, displaying a concerned expression......0
> >You listen, for over 30 minutes.......+5
> >You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50
> >Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying, "Well,
> >what
> >do you think I should do"...-50
> >You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV....+100
> >She realises this is because you have fallen asleep.....-200
> >dealing with women.
> >
> >Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just
> >how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule
> >applies:
> >
> >Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.
> >Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.
> >You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's
> >the
> >way the game is played.
> >
> >Here is a guide to the points system:
> >SIMPLE DUTIES
> >You make the bed.....+1
> >You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.....0
> >You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets....-1
> >You leave the toilet seat up...-5
> >You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings....+5
> >in the snow.....+8
> >but return with beer....-5
> >and no liners....-25
> >You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0
> >You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing...... 0
> >You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5
> >You pummel it with a six iron.....+10
> >It's her cat......-40
> >
> >AT THE PARTY
> >You stay by her side the entire party....0
> >You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a high
> >school
> >drinking buddy.....-2
> >Named Tiffany......-4
> >Tiffany is a dancer.....-10
> >With breast implants....-18
> >
> >HER BIRTHDAY
> >You remember her birthday....0 You buy a card and flowers....0
> >You take her out to dinner.......0
> >You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1
> >Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2
> >And it's all-you-can-eat night......-3
> >It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
> >painted
> >the colours of your favourite team.....-10
> >
> >A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
> >Go with a pal....0
> >The pal is happily married......+1
> >The pal is single......-7
> >He drives a Ferrari......-10
> >With a personalised license plate (GR8 NBED).....-15
> >
> >A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
> >You take her to a movie...+2
> >You take her to a movie she likes....+4
> >You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
> >You take her to a movie you like.....-2
> >It's called Death Cop 3.....-3 Which features Cyborgs that eat
> >humans.....-9
> >You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans....-15
> >
> >YOUR PHYSIQUE
> >You develop a noticeable pot belly......-15
> >You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it....+10
> >You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and
> >baggy
> >Hawaiian shirts....-30
> >You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."....-800
> >
> >THE BIG QUESTION
> >She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
> >You hesitate in responding.....-10
> >You reply, "Where?"......-35
> >Any other response.....-20 >
> >
> >COMMUNICATION
> >When she wants to talk about a problem:
> >You listen, displaying a concerned expression......0
> >You listen, for over 30 minutes.......+5
> >You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50
> >Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying, "Well,
> >what
> >do you think I should do"...-50
> >You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV....+100
> >She realises this is because you have fallen asleep.....-200