Dear Husband

[MAJWIZ]

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving
you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven
years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two
weeks have been hell. . our boss called to tell me you
quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had
gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal
and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and
ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching
the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't
touch me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't.
Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together.

Have a great Life!> Your ex-wife

*****************************************

Dear Ex-wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true that you and I have been married for seven long years,
although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging.
Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all your
hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was
"You look just like a man!"
My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me
confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven
years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee
because the price tag was still on it. I pray that it was a coincidence
that my brother had just barrowed fifty dollars from me that morning
and your negligee was $49.99.

After all this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for fifty million dollars,
I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica.

But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't
get a dime from me. so you take care.

P.S. I DON'T KNOW IF I EVER TOLD YOU THIS BUT CARL,
MY BROTHER WAS BORN CARLA. I HOPE THAT'S NOT A PROBLEM.

signed,
your ex-husband

[Scott]

lol

[bigsmellyfart]

hehehehheheehehehehheetfhhsehaaahahaha...