09-07-2009, 07:55 PM
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"dalasmurdeR"
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: around
Posts: 1,844
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funnys
another:
Quote:
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?
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Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?
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Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
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Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
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Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
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Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
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If people evolved from apes, why are there still ape s?
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Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
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Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
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Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
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Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
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Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
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How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
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When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're goin g?'
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Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
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In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
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How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
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And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
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Some say that the best weapon is the one you never have to fire, well I say the best weapon is the one you only have to fire once, thats how i do it, thats how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far.
"The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his" - General George S. Patton
"Heroes are remembered, but legends never die" - The Sandlot
Whatever doesn't kill you hurts like a bitch.
R.I.P Murphy 
September 10, 1995 - April 21, 2010
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